He massaged his knuckles.
“We both know what would have happened to me if you didn’t buy me.”
“Yes. But I also just wanted to fuck you. I also wanted to be the one to take your virginity. So please stop rewriting history. Stop making me out to be some kind of hero. I’m not a hero, and I never want to be. Yes, it would be nice if you accepted me for who I was—the good, the bad, and the ugly. But don’t pretend I’m something I’m not…that’s annoying.”
If that’s what he wanted, I would drop it. “Can we try this, Conway?”
He didn’t answer me.
I slid my hand across the bed and rested it on his arm.
He tensed at my touch.
I slid farther until I reached his fingers. I moved my hand between his and then finally grabbed him.
He didn’t pull away.
I tightened my fingers between his.
He didn’t respond. His body was immobile. He was lifeless. Then he released a quiet sigh and squeezed my hand. “Alright…we’ll try.”
* * *
Carbine moved to the opposite side of the pen, his tail swishing about like he was irritated. The second I approached the fence, he developed this attitude. He didn’t seem to like anyone, not even Marco. “I just washed and scrubbed these carrots. You’re telling me you don’t want them?”
He neighed and nibbled at the grass.
“You’d rather eat grass than this?” I asked incredulously.
Carbine ignored me altogether.
This horse had more sass than I did.
“He moves to the beat of his own drum.” Conway approached me from behind, wearing brown boots, tight jeans, and a black t-shirt. His hands were in his pockets, and the scruff on his jaw made him look weathered like a man who really worked outdoors.
My heart immediately picked up when Conway drew near. Last night, we held hands for thirty minutes without speaking. It was the most intimacy we’d ever had, even more than the first time we were together.
Ever since that moment, it felt different.
“Then why do you keep him?”
He took one of the carrots from my hand. “He’s a beautiful horse.”
“But he doesn’t like anyone.”
“Not true.” He rolled his tongue and released a loud whistle.
Carbine immediately lifted his head and looked toward Conway. Then he walked over, his footsteps increasing in pace the closer he got. His mane shifted in the breeze, like a snake crawling across a desert. He trotted to the fence and immediately smothered Conway with his breaths.
“Hey, boy.” Conway scratched him behind the ear. “Is this what you’re after?” He held the carrot out, and Carbine devoured it. But once the food was gone, the horse stayed right along the fence with Conway.
I stood in shock. I’d never seen Carbine do anything but ignore Marco and me. But he clearly loved Conway. “I’ve never seen him act that way.”
He rubbed him along his neck. “He and I just understand each other. Give him the carrot.”
“Uh…he might bite my hand off.”
“He won’t. He’s got an attitude, but he’s not mean.”
I held out the carrot, and Carbine ate it. He wasn’t hostile toward me, but it was obvious he was only there to see Conway.
Conway rubbed him for a few more minutes before he rested his arms on the fence. “He’s a beautiful stallion. I used to let people breed their mares with him, but I stopped.”
“Why?”
He shrugged. “I felt wrong pimping him out.”
“Well, maybe the reason he’s so irritated is because he’s not getting any action.”
Conway chuckled. “He gets action with the mares sometimes. We usually sell those horses.”
“Do you ever ride him?” He seemed too volatile to be controlled.
“I haven’t in a while, but yes, I do.”
“Does he try to buck you off?”
“No.”
When Carbine stopped getting attention, he started to chomp on the grass again. His large lips pulled back as his teeth nibbled the short stalks. We stood together and watched him, the warm breeze moving across our skin.
Conway looked good in jeans that tight.
“How’re the stables today?”
“Good. It doesn’t seem to matter how much work I do, there’s always more waiting for me the next day. It’s impossible for it to be perfect for even a few days. Always requires attention.”
“I can imagine.”
“But I enjoy it. I was actually wondering how you’d feel about getting ponies…”
“Why would I do that?” His eyes were focused on Carbine.
“Because they’re cute…”
When he turned back to me, he was smiling with his eyes. “I’m not interested in cute things.”
“What if I took care of them?”
“What purpose would they serve?”
“What purpose do the horses serve?” I countered.
The corner of his mouth rose in a smile. “Good point.”
“So…?”
“I’ll think about it.”
“We have the space. And we already have the feed and everything…it’s not like it’s that much of a hassle.”
“Wow, you really want one, huh?”
“Well, it would have to be at least two. Having just one is cruel…they need a friend.”