She continued to pull me into situations I didn’t want to be in. She forced me to give up parts of myself I never thought I’d share with anyone else. And when I resisted, she somehow made me feel guilty for it. Not once in my life had I bent over backward for someone like this. She was the only woman who had this invisible power over me.
“If you don’t want me to be your friend, then fine. But I need you to be mine. I’m in a different country, and I’m isolated from everyone I’ve ever known. I need someone to talk to. I need more than just sex…I need friendship.”
“I don’t have friends.” I grabbed another spool of thread.
“I don’t believe that.”
“Have you seen me with anyone?” I challenged.
“I’ve heard you mention your cousin Carter a few times. And you have your family and Nicole. You have people to talk to. I only have Marco…and he doesn’t really count.”
My hands got back to work on the mannequin. I listened to everything she said, but I tried to tune it out. But when she had a beautiful voice like that, it was impossible for me to ignore her. When she was honest and vulnerable with me, I couldn’t tune her out.
If I were going to keep her for a lifetime, I’d have to make some changes. There would never be a time when she wouldn’t be around, unless I went on a business trip. So it made sense to make our relationship as positive as possible. “I’m not sure how I feel about having a family.”
She was quiet for a while after I finally answered her. She sat on the stool at the table and crossed her legs, her curled hair trailing down one shoulder. “You don’t want kids?”
“Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don’t.”
“What are your two arguments?”
I kept working while carrying on the conversation at the same time. “I had a great childhood. My parents are good people. They worked hard to raise us and maintain a close relationship with us. I like being a part of something. That’s something I’d like to continue on to the next generation. But having kids is a lot of work. I’m very busy with my career, and I’m not sure if I have the time or energy to raise a family. Besides, I would need a wife. I’m not interested in having one of those right now.”
“Why can’t you have a family anyway?” she asked.
“I definitely need a partner,” I said. “The mother of my children would stay home and raise them so I could continue my work.”
“A nanny.”
“No,” I said. “I don’t want to pay someone to raise my kids. Defeats the purpose.”
“Then why don’t you go the wife route?”
I’d already explained that to her. “I can’t care about someone. It’ll interfere with my work.”
“Really?” she asked. “Based on your designs, something must have inspired you…”
I tightened the thread and looked at her face, knowing exactly what she was talking about. I may have compromised with her in order to make our situation work, but that didn’t mean anything. “Now look who’s arrogant.”
“I’m just saying…feeling something isn’t the worst thing in the world.”
“What I felt last night was passion and good sex. Nothing else.” I wouldn’t let her think there was more to it than that. And judging by the coldness she showed me, her attraction to me was purely physical as well.
“Good sex?” she asked with a smile. “I’m glad you enjoyed it too.”
It was obvious I enjoyed it. “Just to be honest with you, you’ll probably never have children.” I shifted my eyes back to my hands.
“You would really take that away from me?” she asked in surprise.
“Yes.” I didn’t pay that kind of money to have a mom with her kids in the house. And I certainly wouldn’t be the father of her children, so that would just make it more awkward.
“You’d better change your mind because I have to have children, Conway. That’s a dream I’ve always had. The reason I went to school and worked hard to make something of myself was so I could have a family.”
“Not my problem.”
She narrowed her eyes fiercely. “You won’t live forever, Conway. Who will inherit your legacy when you’re gone?”
“Vanessa,” I answered. “I’m sure she’ll have children.”
“But they won’t be your children, Conway. And they won’t be Barsettis either.”
I always thought my legacy would be my lingerie. Barsetti Lingerie was immortal and would live on for hundreds of years. Maybe it would never die out. Maybe it would always be around. “But Barsetti Lingerie will continue.”
“And who will run it?”
I had no idea.
She rested her arm on the table and leaned against it. She wore a confident look, like she knew she had me cornered.
My hand flinched with the needle before I kept going. “You want to have my children, Muse?”