By the time I reached the ground, I was sobbing.
“Why didn’t I kill him?”
My father would be so disappointed in me.
My whole family would be.
If they all died and I lived…I wouldn’t be able to live with that regret.
I would kill myself.
I stepped out into the cold night air, wearing a t-shirt and jeans. The icy temperature felt good against my hot face. It was a windy night, so my hair flapped around me and my tears were flung onto the concrete. I crossed my arms over my chest and stepped forward, ready to brave the cold evening air on my way to…wherever.
I didn’t even have my keys.
I felt a shadow move on top of me, and I knew I was standing underneath a mountain. His chest came into view, and I refused to look at his eyes.
His evil eyes.
I stepped around him. “Leave me alone.”
He grabbed me by the elbow. “Vanessa.”
I twisted out of his grasp. “Don’t touch me again. If I’m free, you’ll let me go. I never want to look at your face again. I never want to hear you speak. I want nothing to do with you. Go back inside, put a gun in your mouth, and pull the damn trigger.” I moved forward again, feeling no regret for what I’d just said.
Only for what I hadn’t done.
He moved into my path again. “Wait. I’ll drop it.”
“Drop what?”
“I’ll leave your family alone.”
It was too good to be true. I lifted my gaze and met his eyes, seeing the sincerity in his face. “You promise?”
“I promise I’ll drop it…for now.”
“For now? What does that mean?”
“It means I’ll drop the vendetta for the foreseeable future.”
“Until when?”
“I don’t know. But that’s the best I can give you.”
It was hard to see his face because my hair was flapping so hard in the wind. “That’s not enough, Bones. Not even close.”
“Then let me think about it. I won’t do anything until I’ve made a decision, and I’ll genuinely consider what you said…and you can convince me why I should drop this blood war. That’s the best you’re going to get out of me, and I honestly think it’s more than fair.”
“Am I still free?”
He nodded. “You’re always free. You’re always safe.”
If that was the best I was going to get, then I would just accept it and appreciate it. My family was safe for now, and I had time to change his mind. I managed to get him to reconsider, and that was significant progress for a bitter man like him.
“Come back inside.” He scooped his arms underneath me and carried me back into the building.
I didn’t fight him because I didn’t want to be out there anyway. The second I was against his warm chest, I felt safe from the wind. I felt safe from everything—even him. My arms hooked around his neck, and I rode with him in the elevator, thinking about the last time we were inside, of the way we kissed and touched. I was attached to this man more than I’d ever been to anyone else.
But I knew he was attached to me too—and that gave me hope.
I woke up the next morning with his face close to mine. His heavy arm was around my waist, and my leg was hooked over his waist. His eyes were open, like he’d been watching me for a while.
My eyes blinked a few times before the image in front of me became clearer. I took in his beautiful eyes, his muscled frame, and the scruff that formed along his jaw. I was a free woman, and I didn’t have to be there anymore—but there I was.
We didn’t screw last night. He carried me to bed, and we went to sleep. I wasn’t sure how I felt about him anymore. I was angry that he wouldn’t give me what I wanted, but I appreciated the fact that he gave me something.
My freedom.
And a chance to convince him to move on from his blood lust.
I’d been sleeping with him for over two months now, so I wasn’t sure what else I could do to convince him he needed to spare my family. I was kind to him, and instead of letting him die, I did something about it.
Wasn’t that enough?
He didn’t say a word as he watched me, his bright blue eyes watching my gaze without blinking. I was used to his stare, but this one felt different somehow. It felt warm instead of cold. It felt affectionate rather than invasive.
Now that I had this newfound freedom, I wasn’t sure what to do with it. Regardless of what decisions I made, my life was spared. He vowed never to hurt me or to lay a hand on me. I could reclaim some of my life, the life I’d been missing.
I pulled back the sheets and got out of bed.