Our relationship was obviously different now, and I wasn’t sure what was going to happen. I wasn’t even sure what we were anymore. She was a free woman now. I had absolutely no power over her.
And I’d put the war on hold—for her.
So where did that leave us?
I was a man with needs, and if she wasn’t fulfilling those needs, I would go elsewhere. She wasn’t calling me either. If she was going to drop me like that, I would do the same thing to her.
I went out that night, hitting up a bar with Max.
He sat beside me at the bar in a long-sleeved black t-shirt. His third bottled beer sat in front of him, right next to the coaster but never on it. “Any trouble from Joe’s men?”
I hadn’t even thought about it. “Haven’t heard a peep.”
“From what I can tell, they’re restructuring the organization. Doesn’t seem like too many men care that he’s gone.”
I was sure no one cared that he was gone.
“Good thing you were quick on your feet and killed all those guys. Looks like you got exactly what you wanted even though they came to kill you.” He watched the TV as he drank his beer.
I’d never told him what really happened. “Actually, I didn’t kill them.”
“Then who did?” He turned back to me, his eyebrow raised.
“Vanessa.”
“Vanessa?” he blurted, the name not sounding right as it rolled off his tongue.
“Yeah. I was on my knees and cuffed, and she came into the room with my shotgun and killed the four men. She let me have Joe.”
Dumbfounded, he just stared at me. “So, let me get this straight. You’re keeping that woman as a prisoner, threatening her family, and she kills the men who are about to kill you? If she’d just done nothing, you’d disappear.”
“I know.” I would never forget what she did for me. Not only did she save my life, but she gave me my revenge. The last thing I wanted to do was let her go, but I thought that was a fair way to repay her. Now she would never have to look over her shoulder and be afraid of me. Instead of plotting to kill her, I would always protect her. That was my way of repaying the debt.
“Am I the only one who thinks that’s crazy?”
“It is crazy. I’m surprised she did it.”
He drank his beer then wiped his mouth with the back of his forearm. “Looks like that woman doesn’t hate you, after all…”
“She hates me now.”
“Why?”
“I told her I wouldn’t kill her or hurt her, out of respect for what she did to me. But I wouldn’t drop the blood war…”
“Dude, she saved your life.”
“And I promised I would never take hers. That’s fair.”
“But if she’d let you die, her family would be safe.”
I drank my beer, regretting the fact that I didn’t order something stronger. “Her mistake, not mine.”
He chuckled then faced forward again. “You’re such an asshole.”
“I’ve never deceived her. It was her decision to save me. She didn’t have to.”
“Man…that woman has it bad for you.”
“Bad for me?” I asked.
“She saved you because she’s hung up on you. No other explanation.”
The sex was hot and the chemistry was explosive, but that’s all it was. She knew she wouldn’t find a better man than me. If she killed me, every man who came after me wouldn’t compare. She would always be unsatisfied—and she’d have to finish the job herself. “I don’t know about that.”
“Yes, you do.”
“We haven’t spoken in almost a week. Once I granted her freedom, she’s wanted nothing to do with me. She’s in Tuscany right now with her family.”
“The family you’re going to kill?”
I nodded.
“Then why are they still alive right now? You just finished one vendetta. What about the other?”
I stared at the TV without really paying attention to it. “I told her I would reconsider my decision, and I wouldn’t do anything in the meantime.”
“Decision?” he asked. “To kill her family?”
I was ashamed to say the answer out loud. “Yes.”
Max grinned like a boy who’d just started summer break.
“What?”
“Don’t ‘what’ me. You fucking pussy.”
“Excuse me?” I demanded.
“You’re just as into her as she is into you. It’s so obvious. She doesn’t kill you even when she should, and now you’ve let her go and won’t hurt her family. It’s so obvious that I don’t understand how it’s not obvious to you.”
“I like fucking her—but that’s it.”
“Sure. Whatever you say.”
“I’m serious. Vanessa is just—”
“What’s the shame in loving a woman? Come on, it’s a great feeling. You find that woman you can’t live without, and you enjoy her. That’s not pussy shit. Pussy shit is not admitting to it.”
I held his gaze, my heart thudding in my chest. “I don’t love her.”
“Then what is this?”
“I don’t know. But I know I don’t love her. I don’t give a shit how beautiful she is or how much I enjoy plowing between her legs. I’ll never love the daughter of the man who ruined my life. I’ll never stop despising her for having everything I should have had. I respect her, but that’s the extent of my feelings. So shut the fuck up and drop it.”