One
Bones
Vanessa spent the day in her art room, pressing the tip of the brush against the canvas and getting lost in the colors of the paint. She’d been quiet lately, thinking about the conversation she’d had with her family, about the odds stacked against us.
I’d been thinking about it too.
Crow Barsetti hated me. No, he loathed me.
If there were a stronger word for hate, that would perfectly describe the way he felt.
I couldn’t blame him because I felt exactly the same way about him.
That man took everything away from me, banished me to a life on the streets. He was directly responsible for turning me into the man I’d become. I had been inside his home with access to a gun, and I could have easily killed two Barsettis in two seconds. But my hatred was masked underneath the love I had for his daughter. I loved her so much I was willing to ignore his disrespect and insults. I was willing to be handcuffed like a prisoner awaiting trial.
I’d never put up with that bullshit for anyone else.
The idea of spending the foreseeable future this way, with my baby down the hall working on something she loved while I sat in my office, was exactly how I wanted to live out my life. It was peaceful, easy, and simple. Our quiet companionship was my favorite feature of our relationship. With her, I didn’t have to pretend to be something I wasn’t. She accepted me for exactly who I was. I never had to lie or exaggerate the truth.
That was hard to find.
And that was how I knew this was real. I accepted her exactly the same way, accepted the fact that her family may never like me. I accepted the fact that she needed to be close with her family in order to be happy—despite how much it annoyed me.
I didn’t know what our next move was. Crow was putting his best men on my file, digging up every piece of dirt he could find. It was annoying because I didn’t have a problem saying the truth right to his face.
Yes, I killed people—a lot of people.
Yes, I’d paid for sex. I’d paid for a lot of sex because I was into kinky shit.
Yes, I’d paid the police to look the other way.
None of those were attributes a father wanted for his daughter.
But his wife had turned her cheek to his murky past. She’d accepted him for his criminal behavior, for the way he’d treated women in the past. She loved him despite his temper and his rage.
He and I were exactly alike.
I knew that would make him hate me more.
Max called me. “Hey, I just talked to Shane. He’s doing a lot better. Went to the gym today.”
“Isn’t that a little soon?”
“I think he’s trying to prove to Cynthia he’s back on his feet again. Apparently, she’s been a mess since he came home.”
“I don’t blame her.” Vanessa had been in pain the entire time I was gone. I loved coming home to her, loved seeing the relief on her face when she saw me in one piece. It made me an asshole to say it, but I loved when she cried over me. I loved knowing her whole world would be shattered if something happened to me.
“She’s trying to pull him out of the business.”
That would never happen. “Shane is too deep into this. He’ll never leave.”
“I don’t know… Cynthia wants kids.”
Well, that changed everything. Being part of this lifestyle meant kids were impossible. Too risky. “We’ll see…”
“I have another mission. Wanted to see if you wanted it.”
“What about the rotation?”
“Yeah, I know,” he said. “But I thought you might want it. It’s in Thailand. I know you love it there.”
I loved it because of the women. Brothels were on every street, and I got my kicks before and after my missions. But now that lifestyle had been buried with my former identity. “I’ll pass. I shouldn’t be sent out so soon anyway.”
“It’s a big payout. Thirty.”
I wasn’t tempted by the money. “No.” Vanessa was under a lot of stress at the moment. If I left, she would be pissed. She needed me right now. “I met her family earlier this week…didn’t go well.”
“Did you kill them?”
I chuckled. “No.”
“Did they try to kill you?”
“No. Pretty nonviolent. But it was tense…they hate me.”
“No surprise there.”
“Said they were willing to try…whatever the fuck that means.”
“Yeah.” Max chuckled into the phone. “You must really love Vanessa to go through that bullshit.”
“Unfortunately.” Loving her gave me my greatest joy but also my greatest pain. My life was a lot simpler before she came along. Now it was turned upside down. “So, I’m going to have to pass. But let me know if you need anything.”
“Sure thing.” He hung up.
I tossed my phone on the table and drank my scotch, not feeling any regret for turning down the mission. It seemed like I just came back from the last one, and my account was stuffed with so much cash I didn’t know what to do with it.