Divine in Lingerie (Lingerie 9)

I wore a brave face for as long as I could, but the moisture was starting to flood my eyes. I was heartbroken for so many reasons. Hearing my father yell at me like that made my stomach tighten in knots. He used to be the man I turned to for everything, and now we were screaming at each other like enemies on a battlefield. I told him he was being hypocritical, but that didn’t mean a damn thing to him. But what caused me the most pain was the undeniable truth right in front of me—that Griffin and I were really over.

My father would never change his mind.

It was done.

We were done.

I retreated to my childhood bedroom so I could let my tears fall in private. I didn’t want Sapphire to worry about me. I didn’t want Carmen to comfort me. I didn’t want my brother to think about me again since today was his special day. Normally, I would turn to my mother, but she was busy preparing for the ceremony.

And I didn’t want her to feel sad either.

Everyone should be happy today.

I sat on the foot of the bed and felt the tears fall into my hands. My makeup smeared, but thankfully, I had extra so I could clean up. I remembered sleeping in this bed while talking to Bones on the phone. At the time, I didn’t know how I felt about him. But I knew I missed him, knew I wanted to talk to him.

I wished I could pick up the phone and call him right now.

But that would just make it harder for him, for both of us.

I did my best to control my breathing and silence my tears. There would be plenty of time for my sadness later, when I was alone in my apartment in Florence. Right now, I should be celebrating this wonderful moment in my life, my future niece or nephew and my new sister. I didn’t want to be selfish, make this day about me. So I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and tried to clear my thoughts. My throat still burned with the urge to cry, and I tasted the strong bite of salt on my tongue.

Stop, Vanessa.

Crying wouldn’t change anything.

I did my best to convince my father to let Bones and me be together. There was nothing more I could do.

It was time to let it go.

Knock. Knock. Knock. My father cracked the door without waiting for me to invite him inside. He looked at me through the opening, grief and anger mixed in his eyes.

I quickly wiped my cheeks with my fingertips. “I’m coming. I was just going to do my makeup—”

He stepped inside and shut the door behind him. Then he took a seat beside me on the bed, his weight making the mattress shift. He rested his arms on his thighs, his torso shifting forward. He stared at his hands, his fingers stitching together. Silence passed, but it wasn’t palpable with anger.

I forced myself to stop crying, feeling uncomfortable doing it in front of someone besides Bones.

My father massaged his knuckles on his left hand. “Tesoro…I don’t want it to be this way. I hate yelling at you. I hate this distance that’s grown between us. We used to be so close. Now our relationship is different…and I hate that.”

“I hate it too.”

He sighed quietly. “I was scared to have Conway. But when you came along, I was even more scared. Having a daughter is so much different from having a son. I want to protect you more, coddle you more. Just because Conway is a man doesn’t mean I should assume that he can take care of himself and you can’t. You’re a very strong and smart woman…I couldn’t be prouder of you. But because of that reason, I want to take care of you. I never want you to change. I never want a man to hurt you and shatter you.”

I moved my hand to his forearm.

He glanced at my hand before he rested his hand on top. “This is what I want…us.”

“We’ll always be us, Father. Nothing will ever change that.”

He closed his eyes for a brief moment, like that meant the world to him. “Thank you, tesoro. Being a parent is the hardest job in the world. One day, you’ll understand that when you have your own children. You’ll want to do the right thing for them…always.”

“I know you’re always trying to do the right thing.”

He squeezed my hand. “Are we okay, then?”

My father had made up his mind, and he wouldn’t change it. I would be forced to move on from Bones and start over. He was the love of my life, and he would always be the love of my life. But if my family refused to accept him, the relationship would only bring me pain. I wanted a husband whom my father loved like a son. I wanted him to be part of our family, to be friends with Conway. I wanted the Barsetti family to grow, not get smaller. “We’re always okay, Father.”