Princess in Lingerie (Lingerie 12)

When he pulled away, he continued to smile. “Vanessa made you come back to work?”

I nodded. “Apparently, I was scaring away all of her customers.”

Crow laughed loudly, the chuckle coming from deep in his chest. “I can picture that pretty clearly.”

“She said I stared people down like a hungry bear.”

He tapped his fingers against his temple. “A very vivid picture. But I’m sure she made you realize you can’t watch her all the time. I used to be the same way with my wife. I realized it was unrealistic to keep her on a leash for her safety. She claimed I was taking away her freedom, making her a prisoner all over again.”

Vanessa would always be my prisoner—whether she realized it or not.

“I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about, Griffin. You know how much I love my daughter, and if I’m not worried, you shouldn’t be either. If those men were your only enemies, you dealt with them. As long as you live a peaceful life, there shouldn’t be anything to be wary of.”

All of that made complete sense, and there was no argument against it. “I guess I have PTSD because of it.” When Vanessa slipped through my fingertips, it gave me the worst feeling in the world…helplessness. I’d never been so afraid in my life. I’d never panicked the way I did in that moment. I’d never been so hateful. “Everything else I’ve dealt with in my life has just been problems…problems with simple solutions. But losing Vanessa…wasn’t some kind of problem. It was the worst moment of my life, a moment I can’t look back on without feeling powerless all over again.” I didn’t look her father in the eye as I spoke, slightly embarrassed by the emotion swelling inside my chest. “It’s gonna take me some time to get over it.”

Crow watched me, a sympathetic look on his face. “It’ll pass—in time. The best thing you can do is go back to a normal life. As the weeks pass, your fears will pass. Then you’ll stop thinking about it altogether.”

I was certain Crow knew exactly how I felt, after everything he’d lived through. “I’m surprised you don’t hate me because of what happened.”

“Hate you?” he whispered. “You got my daughter out of there.”

“I’m also the reason she was there in the first place. I should have listened to you when you told me to quit. I didn’t listen…and I almost lost the most important thing in my life.”

He gave a quiet sigh before he turned around and grabbed the bottle of scotch sitting on his bookshelf. He picked up two short glasses and filled them with the amber liquor.

I took my cue to sit in the chair in front of his desk.

He set the glass in front of me before he moved to his chair. “You can’t play that game, Griffin. If you do, you’ll always lose.” He took a long drink of the liquor, licking his lips as he set the glass down on the surface of his desk. “You can think about the past and wonder why you didn’t make better decisions, but in the end, what does that accomplish?”

I’d never been a man who lived with regret. I stood by my decisions and didn’t question them. Vanessa was different because I’d never been in this situation before. I’d never loved someone the way I loved her. She was the single most important thing in my life—more important than my own life. I used to be selfish before she came along, but now I was completely selfless.

“It’s difficult to see straight when someone you love is involved. When I first got married, a part of me missed my life before Pearl came along, not because I wanted to be single again, but because life was just simpler. I didn’t care about anyone but myself, so my decisions had little consequence. But once she became the most important thing in my life, she turned into baggage. I constantly had something to protect, something valuable that could be stolen. It created a huge headache.”

I understood the feeling all too well.

“You can hate yourself for not listening to me about retiring sooner, but you couldn’t have done it any other way. You had to be loyal to your team, and loyalty is important to Barsettis. In the end, you’re capable of protecting my daughter, and that’s all that matters.”

“And what if something happens again?”

He shrugged. “You’ll be there for her. I have no doubt of that.”

He used to wish me dead, but now he had so much confidence in me.

“Conway would be dead right now if it weren’t for you. I would be too. Probably my brother. Then they may have moved in after my wife and sister-in-law next. But you changed the course of the future. Then you ended that feud permanently. When Vanessa was taken, you destroyed your enemies. Frankly, the safest place for Vanessa is in your heart.” He pointed to my chest. “Safest place in the world.”