Fine in Lingerie (Lingerie 11)

“Women always think having children will be this wonderful experience. Well, I can tell you that my mother had one hell of a time raising me. Stealing the car in the middle of the night, sneaking girls up to my room, taking my father’s gun without permission… I did a lot of crazy shit when I was growing up. Nearly gave my mother a heart attack a few times.”

I kept staring at the wall, doing my best to keep my breathing under control. Tears burned deep behind my eyes, making my throat constrict painfully. My hands came together, and I rubbed my palms against one another, fidgeting in place so I would have something to do. Heartbreak welled up inside me, and it was almost enough to make me fall apart.

Carter kept looking forward, oblivious to the emotions that raged deep inside me.

I couldn’t sit with him anymore. I couldn’t pretend to be okay when I wasn’t. Now there was no possibility of me staying here. Even if Carter’s apology was sincere, I had to get out of here. Regardless of the consequences, I had to escape. I belonged somewhere else. Just because I’d been unlucky enough to be captured didn’t mean I should remain a prisoner forever. Even if I died trying, I was going to get out of here.

I had to.

Now that I’d made my decision, I searched for every opportunity.

Carter woke up at the same time every day, whether it was by an alarm clock or naturally. He had his coffee and breakfast in the dining room, read the newspaper, took some phone calls, and then he went for a run around his property before he hit the gym near the garage. That was when he turned off the alarm system.

When he was in the garage, I did a quick sweep of the house, searching for weapons taped underneath the tables or hidden behind picture frames. I searched every corner of the house, taking advantage of the times when I knew he would be distracted.

But he wiped the place clean.

The only weapons in the house were the knives in the kitchen. Before I slipped out, I would take the biggest steak knife I could find. I didn’t want to use it on Carter, but if he didn’t give me a choice, I would stab him right in the heart.

This was about survival. I wasn’t going to stop until I was the victor.

I had a phone that couldn’t do anything besides make phone calls to Carter, but it did have a camera. I purposely set it up on the kitchen counter behind one of the crocks that held the spatulas and spoons. I hid the other part of the phone behind the salt and pepper shakers, allowing the camera a full view of the alarm pad. After charging the phone all night and making sure it had enough battery, I kept the camera on and recorded everything in the kitchen.

Then I did my best to pretend it was a normal day.

I made pancakes, bacon, and scrambled eggs. I slid everything onto the plate just when Carter walked into the kitchen. Shirtless and barefoot, he walked inside with his kissable tanned skin. His hair was messy from running his fingers through it. Deep brown eyes looked into me, looking me up and down with obvious interest. After our fight the other evening, he’d returned to normal, not disguising the things he wished he could do to me. “Can I get you anything?”

He grabbed the coffee pot and refilled his mug. “More coffee.”

I faced forward again, sprinkling the powdered sugar on top along with the maple syrup. The alarm pad was behind me, the buttons lit up with blue light. The camera was tucked away on the counter, hidden behind the kitchen gear. The red light was on in the front, but I put a piece of tape over it to hide the glow. A part of me felt guilty for what I was doing, but the guilt also made me feel worse.

I shouldn’t feel guilty.

He turned around and leaned against the counter, sipping from his mug while he watched me.

I could feel his stare at the nape of my neck, feel his desire fill the room. He had a natural way of occupying the entire space with his intensity, of bringing an invisible cloud into the room. It was suffocating, like high humidity in the middle of August. “I’m almost done.”

“Take your time.” He kept sipping his coffee, one hand resting on the counter.

I continued to wear the same stoic expression, focusing on my hands. I arranged the pieces of bacon along with the eggs. Normally, he took egg whites and fruit, but today, he seemed to splurge a little more.

My heart was beating so fast. I could hear the pounding in my ears, and I hoped he couldn’t hear it too. I wasn’t just unnerved by this beautiful man’s stare. I was unnerved by the possibility of him discovering my plan. If he did, all of this would be over.