“Ronan, I’ve never doubted his love…”
“Then I hope I don’t have to doubt yours. I know it’s complicated with your family. But…give him a chance. He’s the best guy I know. Don’t leave him. If you don’t give up on him, he’ll never give up on you.”
“Did he ask you to do this?” I asked, skeptical of the possibility.
“No. When he asks me why we had lunch today, I’m gonna tell him I was talking to you about a woman I’m seeing. If he knew I was bothering you about his relationship, which is none of my business, he’d kill me.”
I believed that.
“This stays between us. I just want to do whatever I can to make this work.”
“Even if it doesn’t, you aren’t going to lose him, Ronan. He wouldn’t slip back into his old ways. He feels really terrible about the way he treated you in the past.”
His eyes narrowed in disappointment. “Please don’t tell me that’s your answer.”
“Honestly…I don’t know yet.”
He bowed his head and sighed. “What is there to know? The man loves you. The man can give you anything you could possibly want—”
“Not anything.”
Ronan stared at me for several heartbeats. “Such as?”
“He knows I want a family. And I can’t have a family with a man who runs the underworld. It’s way too dangerous. I only went to the casino a few times, and I got a stalker out of it.”
“Which Bosco took care of.”
“Well, if it’s my daughter on the line, I’m not gonna care if it gets taken care of,” I snapped. “My dream has been to buy a big house in Tuscany, close to where my parents live, and raise a family. I want to sell my flower shop and be a full-time mom. I want a husband who will come home every night. You think I can live in a house with four kids while my husband is gone until two in the morning?”
Ronan had no rebuttal.
“It’s nothing against Bosco. He’s a good man with a big heart. I love him very much. Imagining losing him in a few days is enough to make me start crying. That man has become my whole world. But I know I want this more than anything in the entire world…I want my family. I want my four children. Nothing will ever make me change my mind about that.”
Ronan bowed his head slightly, speechless. His hands continued to hold the coffee cup before he returned it to the saucer. It was still steaming hot, as was mine. “You need to tell him that, then. Give him a chance to give that to you.”
“Ronan, he already knows. I told him what I wanted on our first date. My desires haven’t changed. And Bosco will never give up his casino, give up his livelihood, for a domestic life out in the middle of nowhere. That’s okay because I understand that’s not what he wants. He’s never wanted that. We want different things…” As I spoke to Ronan about this, it made me realize what I had to do. It solidified my decision, and I knew nothing could ever change it back. It was a heartbreaking realization, to know that Bosco wouldn’t be mine for much longer. “Bosco wants me to be his queen, to continue his life the way it’s always been, and come home to me when it’s done. But that’s not my dream. I don’t love Bosco because of his power and his money… I love in him in spite of those things.”
Ronan held my gaze, his disappointment heavy.
“I hope you understand, Ronan. I hate this so much…I really do.”
He left his mug and plate on the table and turned his head to look out the window. He wasn’t angry but bitterly hurt that this conversation ended the way it did. He wanted his brother to be happy, wanted it so much that he actually cornered me in order to have this conversation. “It sounds like you’ve made your decision, then.”
The only reason tears weren’t streaming down my cheeks was because we were in public. But the second I returned to my shop, I would lock myself in the bathroom and give myself ten minutes to cry my pain away. “Yes…I’m sorry.”
9
Bosco
Everything at the casino was still going smoothly. The memory of me mutilating The Butcher was fresh in everyone’s minds, so I was still the conversation topic at most poker games. Memberships had increased by thirty percent, and more people wanted a piece of the pie at my casino.
I’d been spending fewer nights there that week, choosing to stay home with Carmen. I knew she wouldn’t leave me, but I was acting cautiously anyway. We spent our nights tangled up together in bed, warm under the sheets and sweaty with pleasure. When I looked into those green eyes, I knew I would never want another woman more than her.