Mr. Masters (Mr. 1)

She frowns as she listens. “What are the kids like?”

“Sammy is eight and beautiful.”

“That’s the boy?”

“Yes, and the girl, Willow, is sixteen, and she’s a witch.”

“We were all witches at sixteen.”

“Exactly,” I reply. “She’ll warm up to me.” I sip my drink. “Anyway, after Mr. Masters leaves for work, I go upstairs to check on Sammy. He was fine and asleep, so I’m walking back to my room and I walk past Mr. Masters’ room, and I think to myself… I wonder what his room is like, you know?”

“Of course, good question. Anybody would want to know that.”

“So I go in, and I’m looking around, and then I open his bathroom cabinet.”

She lifts her glass at me. “You can tell a lot about a person from their bathroom cabinet.”

“Exactly.” I point at her.

“What did you find out?”

I sip my drink. “That he smells fucking good and he has a lot of sex.”

She giggles.

"Next minute, he's behind me growling and raging with anger when I look up to see his reflection in the mirror. What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Her eyes widen. “He came home?”

"Yes. In some kind of bust a move, backdoor attack."

“Oh no.”

We burst out laughing.

“Then I got caught lying about waking the kids up already when they were still in bed. After that, Willow and I had a stand up row and told each other to fuck off on the way to school.”

She puts her hands over her mouth in horror.

“And then he and I drank some freaky truth serum while he fired me.”

She downs her drink again. “Are you for real? Did this shit really happen?”

“I swear.”

“But I talked him round, and now I have nineteen days to prove myself before he fires me again.”

She looks at me, speechless.

“But…. it turns out he’s a scotch nanny virgin, and he is kind of hot, in a rich old guy way. So, I ‘m going to try and be good so I can stay there. I think I can actually do it.”

Emerson holds her hand up. “You’ve completely lost me. What the hell is a scotch nanny virgin?”

“He’s never drunk scotch with his nanny before.”

She frowns. "And we played this mind fuck of a game where he dared me to ask him anything."

She bites her fingernail as she listens, fascinated. “And?”