Still, I can’t keep my viewers waiting after they’ve forked up the money or else I risk negative reviews. So I grab the bottom hem of my hoodie and lift it over my head. The cool air in the apartment runs over my bare skin. A wave of goose bumps works down my chest. I can feel my nipples hardening in the cold.
Three more dings of a bell signal that I’ve received more donations. It’s like a round of applause by those whose hands are probably busy with other things. But Brice is not one of my admirers.
When I look over at him, embarrassed for the first time since I was new to this game, he’s got his gaze locked on the ceiling. When I place my hand on his, he shudders at the touch but doesn’t look down at me. He’s too nice of a guy. Too wonderful to me. Even though he doesn’t say it, I can hear him explaining how he doesn’t want to look at me like I’m just some sexual object. Because I’m so much more than that to Brice.
What he doesn’t know is that when we first met in elementary school, I harbored a crush for the cute boy who always wore overalls. Thankfully he left that fashion faux pas in the past, but I’m still holding onto a little gi
rl’s crush. I would never admit it though. There’s no way I would risk our friendship, which is the only truly good thing I have going for me.
A new message alert pops up. It’s a request for a private room. Out of pure habit, I reach over and click it. I’m used to requests for private sessions. They aren’t exactly common, but I get one every week or so. Half the time they want to see me get off. The other half just wants to chat. This isn’t either of these though.
My cursor hovers over the ‘Decline’ button even before I read the message. There’ just no way I’m going to go into a private room with Brice next to me. Seeing me topless is one thing, but I need to ease him into this, not throw him into the deep end.
Then I actually read the message, and I can’t help but look over at Brice. His eyes are wide and I’m pretty sure he’s stopped breathing.
The message reads:
$1,000 if you have sex with your friend.
Chapter 2
$1,000 if you have sex with your friend.
As soon as Brice’s brain processes the meaning of the message, he’s on a tirade about how sick my viewership is.
“This is exactly what I’m talking about. They don’t see you as a person. They just want you to perform for them so they can get off.”
His words would hurt more if I didn’t know that they are coming from a place of deep respect for me. It’s the only reason that I can even joke about the offer.
“$1,000 is a lot of money,” I say in a lighthearted tone. But even saying this out loud is enough to set Brice off.
“You’re not seriously considering this are you?”
Of course, we’ve both forgotten that we’re still on camera. Another message comes on, showing that the one who made the offer has been listening intently to our quick discussion.
$1,000 each.
Even Brice gawks at this latest message. “He can’t be serious. That’s as much money as I make in two weeks of work.”
Now that he’s calculating how much that money means to his life, I know that the idea of actually going through with it has wriggled into the back of his brain. This both scares and excites me.
“Look,” I say. “Let’s just forget this ever happened. We can go back in the living room and watch the movie. It’s not too late.
A bell rings at that time. A notification pops up. I’ve just received a $2,000 donation. It’s all ours if we accept the proposition.
“I didn’t really think he was serious,” I admit. “Don’t worry,” I add. “I can return the money right away. All I have to do is press that ‘Decline’ button.” Though this is true, I can’t imagine actually doing it. Now with this money just sitting there, waiting for me to accept with a single push of a button.
Brice hasn’t breathed for a good ten seconds. When he finally speaks up, he refuses to look up from the floor. Very out of character for the only bright spot in my life.
“With my mom’s water heater going out and now she’s having problems with her car, money’s been really tight.” He pauses and then looks up at me. “I could really use the extra cash. I mean, it’s not like we’re ever going to get another chance like this.”
My heartbeat is all I hear now. It’s drowning out the sound of the messages dinging away, urging me to pay attention. Pulling my focus away from how close I’m sitting to Brice. Or the fact that we’re already on my bed. Every muscle contraction that pumps blood to my brain is another step closer to making a decision that could change everything.
Brice is right. This chance is never going to come up again. I’ve been doing this for close to six months, and I’ve never even heard of offers like this. Not even in the private forums where the other girls bitch about customers. None of those girls would ever let a chance like this slip by. I mean, I’m already selling my body in a way. It’s just that before now, it’s always been me alone. I can touch myself and show off every inch of skin to the camera, but when I shut it off, nothing’s really changed. Before tonight, I could have deleted my account and forgotten all about this chapter in my life. There would have been no repercussions.
Now, no matter what we decide to do, nothing between Brice and me will ever be the same. Pretending like it never happened isn’t going to work. Even if we don’t go through with it, the decision is going to splinter our perfect friendship. I’m not sure how yet, but it’s bound to happen. Whether Brice feels like he’s not good enough to sleep with or that we regret it but can never say it, there’s no neutral choice here.
Coming out of my reverie, I bite my lips as I look to Brice. He’s watching me, not with lust but with love. A love that I’ve never construed as anything but platonic up to this precise moment. Now I’m not too sure.