The sparkles of pure ecstasy are still floating about in my skull like a shaken snow globe. Basking in the pleasure of simply lying here after such an orgasmic experience, I am absolutely content. Here in this moment, there is no past. No prior sins. No worries of what tomorrow will bring. It’s just me and Jessie, together again.
When he lies down beside me, I’m expecting a cuddle. Sure, he hasn’t gotten off, but we’ll get to that soon enough. But what he does instead is go for one of his favorite positions.
Lying side by side, he enters me from behind. His left arm is under my head, so that when he slides in, I turn and suck on his forearm. His right hand glides over my oily body. Caressing around the curves of my breasts. Pinching lightly at my pert nipples. And finally sliding across my tummy and down, down, down.
All this time, he’s pumping in and out. Slowly at first, but within one minute it’s a continuous motion. After having already cum once, I’m back on the verge much more quickly this time. And when his fingers flick across my clit once more, I orgasm almost instantly. My quivers have me curling up around myself as Jessie continues to slide in and out.
It’s more than I can bear, but it doesn’t end here.
As I said, this is one of Jessie’s favorite positions because he knows that he can hold out longer while bringing me to orgasm again and again.
Which he does with expert handling.
It’s like he’s in my head, knowing exactly when to touch me and when to back off, when to speed up, and when to slow. There were many reasons that prompted me to give up my life in Cali and head east with him, and this was definitely near the top of the list.
By the time Jessie speeds up to what I know will be his climax, I’m a molten puddle of oxytocin, my brain numb to everything except its pleasure transmitters. When he cums, he presses into me with a fervor.
After this marathon, neither of us speaks. His cock finally slides out of me, and he flops back on the bed, his breaths ragged and fast.
It’s at this point that I should roll over and curl up next to him. And while there’s nothing more that I would like than to wake up beside him on this gorgeous Hawaiian beach, my brain betrays me with a memory of our last time together. It was very much like this, and it was right after—which I’m sure was a calculated move on his part—that he broke the news that he was moving to New York.
With or without me.
I’m with him now, but at what cost? As all the feel-good hormones drift away, I’m left wondering where we go after this. I don’t even know how long his trip here will last. There’s a chance he flies out tomorrow. And then what? Do we write this off? Or does he expect me to finally get over myself and follow him to New York? Because that’s not happening.
I’m not a girl who thrives in big cities. I need open air and adventures away from the constant onslaught of technology. The concrete jungle of Manhattan would be a prison to me.
But is a cage better for me if it means being with Jessie? Or should I fly on my own once more, even though I don’t know where the winds will carry me? Because as much as I won’t move to New York, I can’t stay in South Carolina anymore.
This week
was supposed to be a chance for clarity. A moment to reflect and decide where I go next. But Jessie just had to be here, and now everything’s foggier than it ever was.
So when I roll over to face him, his eyes soothing and content, my words are anything but.
“What do you want from me?”
It’s like I’ve shoved a Taser up his ass and unleashed 10,000 volts of electricity. He sits up in a sudden jerk and takes a steadying breath before exclaiming, “What is that supposed to mean?”
His words are not combative, but his tone is. It was always the thing that grated me the most in our relationship. His tone. Maybe it was just that he wore his emotions on his sleeve, but he was never good at hiding his annoyance. Not that he should have been annoyed all that often anyway.
I take this moment to sit up too. Leaned against the backboard, the sheets pulled up over my chest, I repeat my question: “What do you want from me? If we do get back together—and that’s a fucking massive if—what are you expecting me to do? Because if you think for one second that I’m going to move to Manhattan, then I guess you haven’t learned your lesson from the first time. So what’s your plan?”
“You think I have a plan? I didn’t know you were going to be here. And I sure as hell didn’t expect us to end up like this.”
I can’t help but let my own frustration show. With an angry shake of my head while looking up at the ceiling in utter disbelief at the bullshit he’s peddling me, I say, “You always have a plan. For everything. You never deemed me worthy to know about it until the last minute, but you always had a plan. So don’t tell me you’re suddenly Mr. Free-As-The-Wind.”
I don’t even give him time to answer. Not that I asked him a question in the first place. In an instant, pleasure has turned to old pain and I can’t stand to be in the same room as him for a single second more.
Slipping out of the sheets, I pull clothes on quickly, sneering at Jessie when I catch him watching me. He’s only half a beat behind me and follows me out the door while still buttoning his jeans.
“Holly, wait,” he’s calling after me. But I’m not stopping. My first instinct is to head back over to my surfer’s shack, but there isn’t enough room to pace in there, and what I need now is room to walk around. The manic energy eating me up needs an outlet, which means I’m soon back on the beach, walking in what has every right to be the most romantic moonlight in the world.
Except I can’t enjoy a single speck of it. Not the cool wind blowing off the ocean. Not the moon shining a stripe of light across the waters. Not even the sand that squishes between my toes, reminding me with each step exactly where I’m lucky to be.
“Holly!” Jessie calls after me.
Once he’s at my side, I stop dead in the sand. “Go back.” Before he can argue, I hold up a finger. “Not a single word. I don’t want to hear anything right now. You go back and think about what you want. I’m going to do the same. Then we’ll meet out here at sunrise. You tell me exactly what you’re expecting to happen. And I’ll tell you my hopes. If they line up, great. Maybe, just maybe, we can try this out again. Otherwise, we enjoy the sunrise and then go our separate ways.”