The moment her cherry-flavored dessert is gone, she goes to turn on the television. And within five minutes, she’s out cold. Quietly lamenting the fact that she didn’t even manage to brush her teeth after all that, I carry her to bed and change her into pajamas. Of course she’s worn out. We’re basically on a vacation within a vacation.
With Lizzie asleep, I join Cory in the living room. I don't know where it came from, but he?
?s got a bottle of wine open. He hands me a glass just as I tell him, “You have to tell her.”
He doesn’t ask who or what. He doesn’t have to.
“I know.”
No excuses. No arguments. Only sad agreement.
“So why haven’t you?”
He shakes his head. “When exactly was I supposed to tell her that I’m her father? Before the footlong hot dogs? Or during the parade down Main Street?”
“I don’t know,” I say, and it’s not in defense. I’m just as lost as he is at what would constitute good timing. “But the sooner, the better.”
“I know.”
We’re quiet after this. Sipping our wine and consolidating everything that’s happened since we woke up. Every day since reuniting with Cory feels like a month.
“One more thing,” I say.
Cory looks up but doesn’t speak.
“I get why you couldn’t tell me about everything from the beginning. The stuff about Jeb and Sarah and financing the movie. It’s a lot to take in, and I get why you kept it from me at first. But from hereon out, no more lies. If I’m going to be committed to this, I want to know everything that’s going on.”
Cory lets out a relieved breath. “That’s easy enough. Easier than telling my daughter I abandoned her before she was even born.”
“You didn’t abandon her.”
“It sure feels like it. God, I missed so much. How am I ever going to make it up to her?”
I scoot closer to Cory. Lay my head on his shoulder. “I’m not saying it’s not going to take time. But today was a good start.”
“You think she likes me? I mean, really? She’s not just being polite, is she?”
I shake my head, the action rubbing my hair against his neck. “She doesn’t share her popsicles. Not even with me.”
That night, I sleep in bed with Lizzie while Cory takes the other one. With the way Lizzie conked out, I don’t want her to freak out when she wakes up in a strange room. But an action that used to feel natural is now missing something. Lizzie will always be the best thing in my life, but she needs both parents. Cory should be here too.
Cory should be in every part of our lives.
And while I have a million things that should keep me up, my worries don’t stand a chance against the kind of exhaustion that only comes from plodding around an amusement park all day. One moment I’m staring into Lizzie’s peaceful face, and the next I’m waking up to the strong California sunshine streaming in through the window.
Lizzie’s face isn’t calm anymore; her eyes buzz with energy as she stares back at me.
“Can we eat churros for breakfast?”
And so begins another day of lines and fried snacks and sore feet and a very, very happy Lizzie.
Chapter 18
It’s been two days since my disastrous audition, and now I’m staring down the barrel of tomorrow.
“In all my years here, I never made it out to Disneyland,” Cory says. We’re back at his house. We didn’t get back until midnight, and Lizzie is sleeping late this morning. “And while I’m glad I saved the experience so I could share it with you and Lizzie, now’s the last day we have to get down to business.”
Filming starts up tomorrow. Which means that ready or not, the moment those cameras start rolling, I’ll be an actress. The only question is what kind of actress I’ll be. And the only answer that ends happily ever after for any of us if I’m not just good, but great. With the pressure on, my first and only acting lesson begins.