Color Me Pretty: A Father's Best Friend Romance

He watched me for a moment longer before turning to the door, one hand on the knob as he hesitantly said, “I’ll do it, but consider what it could mean for everyone else.”

Della came to mind as I absorbed the nicotine my lungs demanded. I’d told her countless times I’d quit—that I’d try. But I also told her I’d be there for her whenever she needed me.

I was a fucking liar.

Chapter Fifteen

Della

One, two, three, four, five, si—

“Crap,” I hissed, stumbling on my feet on the second turn. Sweat dripped down my forehead as I waited for the right note to drop before starting again. Without Tiffany, the stress wasn’t nearly as bad, but suddenly the determination to get it right was tenfold.

My mother always used to tell me I was too strong headed for my own good. “It’s your strongest trait and your biggest downfall, sweet Della.”

How many times did she tell me it was okay not to be perfect? I knew I wasn’t better than everyone, even if there were people in my life who thought I was. Lips twitching, I swiped at my skin and rested my hands on my hips while trying to catch my breath. For a microsecond, I’d been glad she wasn’t here to witness what I was putting myself through, but that feeling quickly diminished and was replaced with guilt, shame, and mourning.

What the hell was wrong with me?

Bending to grab my water, I startled when I saw a tall, broad figure at the doorway watching me. Theo.

“That was…” He leaned against the doorjamb with his hands in his pockets. “I haven’t seen you move like that before. I like it.”

It was hard to swallow knowing he saw me screw up. “I messed up.”

I was hyperaware of my bare stomach showcasing my hideous scar. The workout pants I wore were low on my hips, which meant it was out there for anybody to see if they barged in. I’d shed my shirt an hour ago and was left in a red sports bra and black leggings. I’d noticed muscles coming back into my legs that had disappeared after I called it quits, muscles that Judith called dancers legs. They were toned but petite until I’d filled out after my stress eating, turning into my own personal nightmare.

I’d been practicing at Tiffany’s when she was at Judith’s at least three times a week. More if I really needed to escape, whether that was at my apartment, here, or the warehouse, succumbing to the burn of my muscles and lungs as I pushed harder and harder. Today was the first time I’d watched myself in the mirror to study my footwork, and it was hard to see the hollow of my cheeks and the bags under my eyes, but they’d been expected with how many hours I’d put into getting the routine down while sleeping no more than three hours on my best nights. I knew I was going too far but I couldn’t stop because the fire building in my chest had spread everywhere and it took over all the other unwanted feelings of hatred and sadness long enough for me to feel like I was halfway normal.

“How did you find me?” I reached for the towel I’d draped on the barre in front of the mirrors and wiped off my face before squatting to pick up my shirt to slide on. He’d seen me in far less, but that didn’t mean I wanted him seeing me now. Not when I was vulnerable.

He pushed off the door. “Dallas.”

I frowned. Dallas had offered to drive me because it was raining today. Normally, I caught a ride with Tiffany or got an Uber that way I didn’t bother him. With his newborn, which he’d showed me countless photos of over the past few weeks, I wanted to make sure he had as much family time as possible. “Why are you here?” I hadn’t meant to say it so rudely, but I wanted to be alone. All week, I’d wanted to stay to myself. Dance. Practice. Repeat. Get the routine down without one mistake.

He didn’t step into the studio, just looked at me with watchful, curious eyes. “Want to go to Denny’s and get breakfast?”

He wanted to get breakfast? My stomach rumbled to life, but I told myself to give an excuse to get out of it.

“I need to shower…” I glanced down at the way my clothes clung to my overheated, sweaty body. I’d driven myself farther than I had since Tiffany and I started, but I almost had the entire dance down because of it. If I could get out of my head, I’d stop mis-stepping, but there was always something lurking in the back of my mind that weakened my walls.

Theo didn’t relent though. “Breakfast at my house then. Ramsay misses you.”

I blew out a breath. “Does he?”

There was a pause. “I miss you too, Della.” His words went straight to my heart causing it to beat a little faster, a little harder, drumming to a tune that beckoned him forward.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” I admitted quietly, turning off the music and gripping my water bottle.

“Since when has anything we’ve done been a good idea lately?” The lighthearted smirk on his lips told me he was teasing. It was a conversation we’d had before but beat around. When we’d meet up, we’d kiss, we’d touch, we’d do a lot of things, but I hadn’t had sex with him since he cooked us dinner. My mind racing with thoughts of my imperfections had me lying to Theo and telling him I was on my period. He’d bought me chocolate and gave me a shoulder massage, never once pushing. I knew I needed to tell him that I couldn’t find the energy even though sleeping with Theo brought my body to life in ways that had been dormant before.

I didn’t want that feeling though. I wanted to be numb. My mind begged me to stay away from anything that made me feel like there was hope or else I’d be too far gone when I realized there was none.

My tongue swiped across my bottom lip in hesitation. We both knew he spoke the truth, but the allure to his words still didn’t make me want to jump on the opportunity. Not like it normally would. That was when I knew…

Maybe I already was too far gone.

He finally took a large step into the space I occupied, one hand out of his pocket and scrubbing his jawline. “There’s something I’d like to talk with you about. About your father.”