Underneath the Sycamore Tree

I’ll give her time.

One more hand squeeze and we’re both settled back in our chairs.

We eat dinner in peace—in necessary silence.

Kaiden looks at me.

I don’t look back.

When we get back to the house, Kaiden pulls me away from Mama and Grandma. He grabs the blanket from the back of his car and tugs me toward Lo’s grave. I don’t protest and ask why he’s doing this. I just let his hand envelope mine until he let’s go to get the blanket situated on the ground.

It is way too cold to stay out here for long, but I somehow welcome the uncomfortable chill. We get too used to finding comfort in things we shouldn’t—accepting what is instead of questioning it. So, I hug my knees to my chest and stare at Lo’s grave.

It’s already getting dark, which means the temperature will only get colder. Since Kaiden likes to scold me for being outside, I’m sure the sycamore and grave outings won’t last once winter officially greats us. The snow will ruin our chances to escape our family, and I wonder if he’s as sad as me about it.

I don’t ask.

I sit.

I stare.

I sulk.

Closing my eyes, I rest my cheek on my knee. The warmth from my leggings soaks into my cold skin, and I wrap my arms a little tighter around my shins.

“What did she mean?” he asks, breaking the silence after a few minutes.

I open my eyes to see him watching me.

“She said you needed to get better.”

I press my lips together.

“Emery,” he all but growls.

I sigh, knowing it was only a matter of time before this happened. The sick girl can’t live dormant forever, not even in the eyes of someone who doesn’t want to see a problem.

He treats me like anyone else.

He messes with me.

He’s rude.

He’s cruel.

Oddly, I don’t want that to end.

“Does it matter?” is my reply.

His eyes narrow.

I scoot closer to him. For warmth, for comfort, for anything but the truth he seeks. “I get angry with you a lot for the stuff you do. It’s like you don’t care about hurting anybody’s feelings—Cam, Rachel, me.”

My head rests against his shoulder, which tenses for a moment before relaxing. His arm lifts and wraps around my waist, tugging me closer into him. I sigh when I feel his body heat wrap around me.

We both see our breaths.

My nose tingles and numbs.