“Are you?”
He blinks.
“Kaiden…” I take a deep breath and feel my own defenses completely shattering. “I need you to go to UM, okay? It’ll make me h-happy.”
His throat bobs and his anger becomes tenfold as he studies my face.
“Cam will be happy too,” I continue, wrapping my fingers around his. The way he looks at me is in pure disbelief. “I’ll v-visit when I can. When you have games, I’ll…come see you play and cheer you on.”
His expression morphs into something unreadable. There’s pain lingering in his pinched lips, that much I can see. Kaiden Monroe has never been stupid. He knows I offer him that little bit of hope to ease the reality that’s about to hit us whether we’re ready or not.
Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I give him a tiny smile. “Don’t tell Cam I told you this because she wants it to be a surprise, but she already bought a bunch of UM sweatshirts and memorabilia. I’m pretty sure I even saw one of those foam fingers.”
His lips twitch upward, then flatten. The tiny shift of his anger for even a millisecond means he’s trying. He’s willing to let go of his anger.
Trying to focus on what I want to say, I give myself a minute before managing a small, sad smile. “And…I think she bought something for all of us to wear, maybe…even customized the backs with your name.” We both know she’d do that. I’m sure once she finds out his jersey number, that’ll go on the back of any shirt she wears to games too.
He flips our hands so his is squeezing mine. “Your skin is so pale.”
That must say something considering we’re cloaked in darkness. Only the glow of the computer’s screensaver lights up the corner of the room. The narrow window on the door barely allows any of the hallway light to creep in.
I brush my thumb against the top of his hand, noticing the smooth skin and tiny brown freckles. “I hear college food is way b-better than the stuff they serve in high school. There are options that don’t involve…mystery meat.”
He chuckles, but it doesn’t sound the same as any other time he’s laughed.
“Kaiden?” I murmur, my thumb stopping in the middle of its movement.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.” He blinks up at me. “Thank you for being my friend. My best friend. Anyone could have stepped up and…tried knowing me and they didn’t. It was always just you.”
He purses his lips. “Like you said, they were just blindly doing what I said.”
I shake my head. “Annabel talked to me despite you wanting everyone to leave me alone. Sometimes girls would try getting gossip out of me about you. They were all willing to take and not give. Not even Annabel.”
For a while, he doesn’t answer. “I was selfish. I didn’t want you making friends with anyone else.”
I just smile.
I know, is my silent reply.
“But you,” I add, “were always there.”
He allows himself to smirk. “Especially when you didn’t want me to be.”
That’s
when I needed you most.
The door clicks open and Dr. Thorne is followed in by Dad and Cam. His face says it all. It’s serious. Firm. I stay withdrawn, staring at the dark-haired man standing in front of me. He looks sympathetic—his eyes drowning in untold apologies and answers that weren’t there before.
He had hope then.
“Ms. Matterson,” he begins, “I’m sorry to have to tell you this…”
I hear his words but don’t absorb them. Instead, I try to calm down Kaiden, whose body is shaking violently next to me.
Dad is ashen.