Just what he'd wanted to avoid.
The wind blew past again, carrying that awful stench of death. It also carried memories. The fury of the battle, the passion and thrill of each swing. Aiel were excellent warriors—the best the land knew. Each exchange had been close, and Perrin had earned his share of cuts and bruises, though those had since been Healed.
Fighting the Aiel had made him feel alive. Each one he'd slain had been an expert with the spears; each one could have killed him. But he'd won. During those moments of fighting, he'd felt a driving passion. The passion of finally doing something. After two months of waiting, each blow had meant a step closer to finding Faile.
No more talking. No more planning. He'd found purpose. And now it was gone.
He felt hollow. It was like . . . like the time when his father had promised him something special as a gift for Winternight. Perrin had waited months, eager, doing his chores to earn the unknown gift. When he'd finally received the small wooden horse, he'd been excited for a moment. But the next day, he'd been shockingly melancholy. Not because of the gift, but because there had no longer been anything to strive for. The excitement was gone, and only then had he realized how much more precious he'd found that anticipation than the gift itself.
Soon after that he'd begun visiting Master Luhhan's forge, eventually becoming his apprentice.
He was glad to have Faile back. He rejoiced. And yet, now what was there for him? These blasted men saw him as their leader. Some even thought of him as their king! He'd never asked for that. He'd had them put away the banners every time they put them out, up until Faile had persuaded him that using them would be an advantage. He still didn't believe that the wolfhead banner belonged there, flapping insolently above his camp.
But could he take it down? The men did look to it. He could smell pride on them every time they passed it. He couldn't turn them away. Rand would need their aid—he'd need everyone's aid—at the Last Battle.
The Last Battle. Could a man like him, a man who didn't want to be in charge, lead these forces to the most important moment in their lives?
The colors swirled, showing him Rand, sitting in what appeared to be a stone Tairen home. Perrin's old friend had a dark cast to his expression, like a man troubled by weighty thoughts. Even sitting like that, Rand looked regal. He was what a king was supposed to be, with that rich red coat, that noble bearing. Perrin was just a blacksmith.
He sighed, shaking his head and dispelling the image. He needed to seek out Rand. He could feel something tugging at him, pulling him.
Rand needed him. That had to be his focus now.
CHAPTER 10
The Last of the Tabac
Rodel Ituralde puffed quietly on his pipe, smoke curling from it like the sinuous coils of a snake. The smoke tendrils wrapped around themselves, pooling at the ceiling above him, then leaking out through cracks in the roof of the ramshackle shed. The boards in the walls were warped from age, opening slits to the outside, and the gray wood was cracked and splintering. A brazier burned in the corner and winds whistled through the cracks in the walls. Ituralde faintly worried those winds would blow over the entire building.
He sat on a stool, several maps on the table before him. At the corner of the table, his tabac pouch weighed down a wrinkled piece of paper. The small square was weathered and folded from being carried in his inside coat pocket.
"Well?" Rajabi asked. Thick of neck and determined of attitude, he was brown-eyed, with a wide nose and a bulbous chin. He was completely bald now, and faintly resembled a large boulder. He tended to act like a boulder, too. It could take a lot of work to get him rolling, but once you did, he was bloody hard to stop. He had been one of the first to join Ituralde's cause, for all the fact that he had been poised to rebel against the king just a short time before.
;What is it, Tam?" Perrin asked as soon as they were far enough away.
Tam rubbed his face; there was gray stubble coming in. Perrin had pushed his men hard these last few days, and there hadn't been time for shaving. Tam wore a simple blue wool coat, and the thick cloth was probably a welcome shield against the mountain breeze.
"The lads are wondering, Perrin," Tam said, a little less formal now that they were alone. "Did you mean what you said about giving up on Manetheren?"
"Aye," Perrin said. "That banner has been nothing but trouble since it first came out. The Seanchan, and everyone else, might as well know. I'm no king."
"You have a queen who's sworn you as her liege."
He considered Tarn's words, working out the best response. Once that kind of behavior had made people think he was slow of thought. Now people assumed his thoughtfulness meant that Perrin was crafty and keen minded. What a difference a few fancy words in front of your name made!
"I think you're right, in what you did," Tam said, surprisingly. "Calling the Two Rivers Manetheren would not only have antagonized the Seanchan, but the Queen of Andor herself. It would imply that you meant to hold more than just the Two Rivers, that perhaps you wanted to conquer all that Manetheren once held."
Perrin shook his head. "I don't mean to conquer anything, Tam. Light! I don't mean to hold what people say I've got. The sooner that Elayne takes her throne and sends a proper lord out to the Two Rivers, the better. We can be done with all of this Lord Perrin business and things can go back to normal."
"And Queen Alliandre?" Tam asked.
"She can swear to Elayne instead," Perrin said stubbornly. "Or maybe directly to Rand. He seems to like scooping up kingdoms. Like a child playing a game of wobbles."
Tarn smelled concerned. Troubled. Perrin looked away. Things should be simpler. They should be. "What?"
"I just thought you were over this," Tarn said.
"Nothing has changed from the days before Faile was taken," Perrin said. "I still don't like that wolf head banner either. I think maybe it's time to take that one down too."