"Be careful where you tread. Be careful how you strike. I will leave it to you to decide if you want to try to get all of them at once, or if you want to take the most important ones separately in secret. Perhaps you will decide to watch and see if you can counter their plots. A good interrogation might yield light upon some of the questions I was not able to answer. So many decisions you must make, for one so young." She yawned, then grimaced as a pain stabbed her.
Egwene rose, walking to Verin's side. "Thank you, Verin. Thank you for choosing me to carry this burden."
Verin smiled faintly. "You did very well with the previous tidbits I gave you. That was quite the interesting situation. The Amyrlin commanded that I give you information to hunt the Black sisters who fled the Tower, so I had to comply, even though the leadership of the Black was frustrated by the order. I wasn't supposed to give you the dreaming ter'angreal, you know. But I've always had a feeling about you."
"I'm not certain I deserve such trust." Egwene looked down at the book. "Trust such as you've shown."
"Nonsense, child," Verin said, yawning again, eyes closing. "You will be Amyrlin. I'm confident of it. And an Amyrlin should be well armed with knowledge. That, among all things, is the most sacred duty of the Brown—to arm the world with knowledge. I'm still one of them. Please see that they know, although the word Black may brand my name forever, my soul is Brown. Tell them. ..."
;And what does this have to do with me?" Egwene asked.
"Not much," Verin said, tsking at herself. "I'm afraid I let myself get sidetracked. And with so little time, too. I really must pay attention." She still seemed like the pleasant, scholarly Brown sister. Egwene had always expected that Black sisters would be ... different.
"Anyway," Verin continued. "We were talking about what you did here, in the Tower. I was afraid that I'd come and find you still dawdling with your friends outside. Imagine my amazement at finding that you'd not only infiltrated Elaida's regime, but had apparently turned half of the Hall itself against her. You've certainly riled some of my associates, I can tell you that. They are none too pleased." Verin shook her head, taking another sip of tea.
"Verin, I. . . ." Egwene paused. "What is—"
"No time, I'm afraid," Verin said, leaning forward. Suddenly, something about her seemed to change. Though she was still the aged—and at times motherly—woman, her expression grew more determined. She caught Egwene's eyes, and the intensity within that gaze shocked Egwene. Was this the same woman?
"Thank you for humoring a woman's rambles," Verin said, voice more soft. "It was so very nice to have a quiet chat over tea, at least once more. Now, there are some things you need to know. A number of years ago, I faced a decision. I found myself in a position where I could either take the oaths to the Dark One, or I could reveal that I had actually never wanted—or intended—to do so, whereupon I would have been executed.
"Perhaps another would have found a way around this situation. Many would have simply opted for death. I, however, saw this as an opportunity. You see, one rarely has such a chance as this, to study a beast from inside its heart, to see really what makes the blood flow. To discover where all of the little veins and vessels lead. Quite an extraordinary experience."
"Wait," Egwene said. "You joined the Black Ajah to study them?"
"1 joined them to keep my skin intact," Verin said, smiling. "I'm rather fond of it, though Tomas did go on about these white hairs. Anyway, after joining them, the chance to study them was my making the best of the situation."
"Tomas. Does he know what you've done?"
"He was a Darkfriend himself, child," Verin said. "Wanting a way out. Well, there really isn't a way out, not once the Great Lord has his claws in you. But there was a way to fight, to make up for a little of what you've done. I offered that chance to Tomas, and I believe he was quite grateful to me for it."
Egwene hesitated, trying to take all of this in. Verin was a Dark-friend . . . but not one at the same time. "You said he 'was' quite grateful to you?"
Verin didn't answer immediately. She simply took another sip of her tea. "The oaths one makes to the Great Lord are quite specific," she finally continued. "And, when they are placed upon one who can channel, they are quite binding. Impossible to break. You can double-cross other Dark-friends, you can turn against the Chosen if you can justify it. Selfishness must be preserved. But you can never betray him. You can never betray the order itself to outsiders. But the oaths are specific. Very specific." She looked up, meeting Egwene's eyes. " 'I swear not to betray the Great Lord, to keep my secrets until the hour of my death.' That was what I promised. Do you see?"
Egwene looked down at the steaming cup in Verin's hands. "Poison?"
"It takes a very special tea to make asping rot go down sweetly," Verin said, taking another sip. "As I said, please thank Laras for me."
Egwene closed her eyes. Nynaeve had mentioned asping rot to her; a drop could kill. It was a quick death, peaceful, and often came . . . within an hour of ingestion.
"A curious hole in the oaths," Verin said softly. "To allow one to effect a betrayal in the final hour of one's life. I cannot help wondering if the Great Lord knows of it. Why wouldn't he close that hole?"
"Perhaps he doesn't see it as threatening," Egwene said, opening her eyes. "After all, what kind of Darkfriend would kill themselves in order to advance the greater good? It doesn't seem the kind of thing his followers would consider."
"You may be right at that," Verin said, setting the cup of tea aside. "It would be wise to make certain that is disposed of with care, child."
"So that is it?" Egwene asked, chilled. "What of Tomas?"
"We made our farewells. He is spending his last hour with family."
Egwene shook her head. It seemed such a tragedy. "You come to me to confess, killing yourself in a final quest for redemption?"
Verin laughed. "Redemption? I should think that wouldn't be so easily earned. Light knows I've done enough to require a very special kind of redemption. But it was worth the cost. Worth it indeed. Or perhaps that is simply what I must tell myself." She reached to her side, pulling a leather scrip from beneath the folded blanket at the foot of Egwene's bed. Verin carefully undid the straps, then produced two items: two books, both bound in leather. One was larger, like a reference book, though it had no title on its red binding. The other was a thin blue book. The covers of both were a little worn from use.
Verin handed them to Egwene. Hesitantly she took them, the larger volume heavy in her right hand, the blue book light in her left hand. She ran a finger over the smooth leather, frowning. She looked up at Verin.
"Every woman in the Brown," Verin said, "seeks to produce something lasting. Research or study that will be meaningful. Others often accuse us of ignoring the world around us. They think we only look backward. Well, that is inaccurate. If we are distracted, it is because we look forward, toward those who will come. And the information, the knowledge we gather . . . we leave it for them. The other Ajahs worry about making today better; we yearn to make tomorrow better."