ed from every tensed line of his long, taut body. ‘If I touch you, I’ll kill you. Cristo, get out of my sight before I lose control!’
‘Luc, please,’ she said brokenly.
He spun back to her, fluid as a cat on his feet even in rage. ‘If he hadn’t been mine, maybe…just maybe I could have forgiven you, because then at least I could have understood why you ran away. But this!’ He spread brown hands eloquently wide in a slashing movement. ‘This I don’t understand at all!’
‘If you would just calm down,’ she interposed pleadingly.
‘Calm down? I find out I have a son of almost five whom I don’t know and I never even dreamt existed, and you ask me to calm down?’
‘I should have told you last night.’
‘Last night?’ he grated in disbelief. ‘Last night, while you were playing the whore in my arms, I’d definitely have strangled you! I don’t give a damn about last night or last week! I’m talking about five years ago when you were pregnant!’
The brutality of his attack on her behaviour the night before cut with the efficacy of a knife through her heart. ‘S-stop shouting—’
‘If I don’t shout I’ll get physical! And I’ve never struck a woman in my life and I will not start now,’ he shot at her furiously.
It took immense will-power for her to drag her thoughts into order. The sheer force of his rage had shattered her, and his contention that he would have preferred to learn that Daniel was another man’s child was quite incomprehensible to her.
‘Why didn’t you tell me five years ago?’ The repetition scorched back at her.
‘I meant to…I tried to—’
‘I don’t remember you trying,’ he cut in ruthlessly.
She sucked in air convulsively. ‘I was afraid to tell you.’
He uttered a succinct swear-word he had never used in her presence before. It blazed with his derision.
‘All right,’ she whispered, and, mustering the tattered shreds of her composure, she mastered herself sufficiently to continue. ‘You won’t like what I’m about to say…’
‘I don’t like you,’ he breathed with chilling effect. ‘Nothing that you could say could be any worse than the revulsion I feel now.’
Unintentionally she burst into tears, hating herself for the weakness, but she felt as if she were an animal caught in a trap.
‘I couldn’t bring myself to tell you,’ she formulated shakily, ‘because I knew you wouldn’t want him and I was scared that I would let you talk me into getting rid of him.’
‘You dare to foist the blame on me!’ he raked back at her with contempt.
In a benumbed state, she moved her head back and forth. ‘You always made it so obvious that you didn’t want to commit yourself to me in any way. I honestly believed that you would see a termination as the only practical solution.’
‘Where my own flesh and blood is concerned, I am not practical! And what does commitment to you have to do with commitment to my unborn child?’ he demanded. ‘And what do you know of my feelings about abortion? When did we ever discuss the subject?’
‘I…I made an assumption,’ she conceded, no longer able to look at him.
‘You made one hell of an assumption!’
‘At the time, I believed it was the right one,’ she whispered.
‘And shall I tell you why you made that assumption? Look at me!’ he commanded fiercely, and she did, fearfully, sickly, wondering where the axe could possibly fall next. ‘I never knew what a temper you had. I never dreamt there could be such bitterness and obstinacy behind that angel face. But I know it now, and I don’t need your interpretation, for I have my own! Let me tell you how it was: if I wasn’t going to marry you, I would pay for that with the loss of my child!’
‘No!’ she cried. ‘It wasn’t like that!’
‘It was exactly like that. No ring, no child. I was playing Russian roulette over that breakfast table and I didn’t know it!’ He looked at her with hatred. ‘To think that I tortured myself over what I said to you that day! You had no right to conceal the truth from me. It was my right to know that you were carrying my child. Cristo, did you hate me so much that you couldn’t even give me a chance?’
Her legs were shaking. She sank down in the nearest seat and covered her face with damp hands. ‘I loved you. I loved you so much.’
‘That was love?’ He emitted a harsh laugh of incredulity. ‘I lash out at you once. In nearly two years, I lose my temper with you once! Once! And I’ve been paying for it ever since. It was revenge you took, and I understand revenge very well.’