Nina.
His mate.
Joel knew it. He knew it down to the very cells of his body: every part of him felt bonded to every part of her.
He’d always wondered if he’d know it when it happened. He shouldn’t have wondered. He’d never been more certain of anything in his life.
It had been there last night, even—that sense of perfect connection, that spark that had ignited inside of him when he’d been inside of her...pure happiness.
The mate-bond.
The happiness was draining away. This was all of his worst fears coming true. And with Nina. Joel wanted to keep her safe, make sure she was happy, and now this?
If he and Nina were mates, they had to be together. That was how it worked. Joel knew it all too well, from his parents’ tragedy.
But what if Nina wanted to leave?
Nina was used to being on the road, and hadn’t told him she’d decided to stay yet. There was no way the mate-bond would allow her to go, though. The very idea filled Joel with a desperate need to hold her tightly, make sure she was still here.
It was strange. He’d always been afraid of how the mate-bond would make him vulnerable, make him weak, give someone else power over him. But now Joel understood that that wasn’t the real problem at all, not with Nina. Nina would never take advantage of the mate-bond, would never try to hurt him. And being close to her would be the opposite of a hardship.
But now she was vulnerable. And Joel had to protect her, no matter what he wanted for himself. Just because some insane genetic predisposition, or some crazy supernatural fate, or whatever the mate-bond was—just because it said that they had to be together, that didn’t erase Nina’s wants or needs.
The mate-bond couldn’t delete Nina’s ability to make decisions. Joel refused to allow that to happen. He’d have to let her go, as much as his whole self screamed that that was impossible.
Then he’d be miserable for the rest of his life.
And she would be, too.
So then: suppose Joel went with her. If she wanted to leave, or if Cal told her she couldn’t stay, but she still wanted Joel along. They’d be on the road together, inseparable.
And then they’d be his parents all over again, living alone, without other shifters, with all of the terrifying possibilities that came with that. They’d be far away from any protection, hiding their true natures.
What if Nina got sick, like his mother had, and they were too isolated from other shifters to learn if there was a cure?
Another scenario struck a chill into his bones. What if Nina had wanted to leave, but the mate-bond forced her to stay? What if it did erase her wants and needs, in favor of making her stay with Joel? Would she even know it was happening?
Joel looked down at Nina again. He wanted to wrap her up in his arms, tell her it was going to be okay, they could figure this out together. Even though inside, he didn’t believe it.
He couldn’t allow the mate-bond to hurt her any more than she’d already been hurt.
So he forced himself to pull away. Slowly, he eased back until they weren’t touching anymore, and then he pushed himself to his feet. He backed away one careful step at a time, so the floorboards wouldn’t creak. He pulled on his clothes swiftly and quietly. When he reached the door, he turned the handle slowly and silently, pulled it open just enough for him to slip through.
Outside, he wanted to breathe a sigh of relief. But he couldn’t, because he was still fighting the mate-bond with all of his strength. It was screaming at him to go back inside, because he’d just left his mate sleeping alone.
Nina, Joel thought. Not some fated compulsion in his brain. A living woman, with an independent mind and needs and desires of her own. And if he wanted to give her a chance to stay that way, he had to get away from her.
He shifted. And discovered that in snow leopard form, it was worse.
Mate! his leopard insisted, straining to go back to the cabin. Our mate is in there! Not out here!
Shut up, Joel told it, and started running, as fast as he could, in the opposite direction.
He wasn’t going to make Nina do anything. She was going to have a choice about what happened, no matter what he had to do.
***
Nina woke up anxious.