“I’ve been such an idiot,” Joel said all in a rush, and snatched Nina up into his arms.
She let out a startled shriek as her feet left the ground, but clutched him back just as hard, burying her face in his neck.
“Don’t say that,” she murmured. “You’re not an idiot. You’re just like me. Afraid of the past.”
Joel set her down, much more gently. “I love you. I truly do.”
Nina’s face crumpled for a minute, and two tears slipped down her cheeks. Instantly, Joel pulled in her in close again.
“I love you, too,” she whispered. “When you said you hated the idea that we had to be together—”
“No,” he said immediately, pressing a kiss to her damp cheek. “No. I was just afraid that it would hurt you, or that you wouldn’t have a choice. I wanted to be with you more than anything. It just felt awful to think that it might not be because you truly wanted it.”
“I want it.” Her voice was fierce, and Joel couldn’t do anything but believe her.
They held onto each other for a long, long time.
Finally, Joel pulled back and put his hands on her shoulders. “I can’t forget what happened to my parents,” he admitted, needing to be honest with her. “I don’t know if that’s going to go away.”
Nina shrugged, a tiny motion. “I’ll never forget what happened to me. I don’t think we should. I just think we need to remember that it’s the past. After all,” she brightened, “back then, your parents were the only mated couple you knew. What about all the ones you know now? Are they happy?”
Joel thought about Zach and Teri, how they laughed together, how Zach was brighter and more relaxed than Joel had ever known him to be. Grey, so quiet and reserved most of the time, seemed to open up with joy around his vivacious mate. And Jeff and Leah, the way they seemed to give off love, project it onto everyone around them, especially their baby...
“They’re the happiest people I know,” he said softly.
Nina’s face softened. “I want so much to be part of that,” she said.
“You will be. You are, already. You’ve talked more to the rest of the pack today than I probably have in the last week,” Joel pointed out. “Teri and Zach are ready to beat me up because I haven’t been treating you right.”
Nina’s eyes widened. “Oh, no—”
“I deserve it,” Joel told her. “But what I mean is, they want you to be a part of the pack. Didn’t they say that?”
Nina nodded slowly. “I don’t think I was ready to hear it yet. And they said so many things...Teri said something that stuck with me.”
Joel ran his hands down her arms, taking hold of her fingers and twining them together. “What did she say?”
“That with Zach, she was her best self.” Nina looked up at Joel with those grey-green eyes. “I believe that, you know. Since I met
you, I feel like I haven’t just been happier, I’ve been—braver. I think if this all had happened a few weeks ago, I would’ve just run away, skipped town. But this connection—” She squeezed his hands. “It makes me stronger.”
Her best self. The mate-bond bringing out someone’s best self.
Making you stronger, not weaker. Because it wasn’t about being independent after all. Joel wouldn’t trade what he was feeling now for independence. It turned out independence hadn’t meant what he’d thought it meant.
“You know,” Joel said with feeling, “normally, I’m a loner. I don’t stick my neck out for other people. Normally I don’t feel this...protective of anyone.” He’d felt something like this fierce, furious storm of emotion before, but it had only been for himself.
“I think you’re right,” he told her. “I think I’m stronger with you than I was before.” Stronger of character. More willing to listen, to talk to others, to admit he’d been wrong, to put Nina’s welfare before his own. So much better than when he’d been independently alone.
Yet another reason to love her. As if he needed any more.
Nina was smiling, and Joel found himself grinning stupidly back. He kissed her fiercely, and then again, and again.
When he finally made himself pull back, she kissed him again. The kiss started out soft and loving, but slowly, as Joel tasted Nina's lips, teased her tongue with his, it grew in intensity, until they were pressed up against each other and panting for breath. The feeling of Nina's body molded to his, the curves of her breasts and hips, was starting to make Joel forget that anyone and anything else existed.
Nina tore her mouth away with a gasp. "You have a room here, right?" she asked breathlessly.
Joel nodded, his body burning with desire...but he needed to make sure of something first. "Are you sure you want to do anything? You were crying just a minute ago."