I was aware of the women that looked at me as I passed them, but I didn’t acknowledge it. I was stuck on the two kisses that I’d shared with Celia and the way she made me feel inside. I needed to get past that, but I knew kissing someone else wasn’t the answer. I walked into the heavy door and asked for a table for one as the woman raised a brow at me.
I was seated and asked for a beer as I looked over the menu. I ordered the lasagna and pulled out my phone to read the notifications on the screen. There were a few emails about possible freelance work and I starred them as I sipped my beer. Mom sent a text asking about the interview and I smiled as I responded and told her that it went well. I just wished that I could talk to her about Celia and my growing feelings for her.
I ate lunch slowly and considered my options if the job fell through. There were other firms in San Diego as well as LA and even the bay area. There was nothing holding me here except some stupid invisible bond to memories. I could do anything I wanted and was free to move anywhere.
I finished what I could on the plate and pushed it away. I left a bill on the table and walked outside, heading to my car. I drove to a beach that was smaller and lesser known, one that I hung out with Jessie a lot. We partied plenty but also liked down time where we could just talk and bounce ideas around. I parked all the way to the right and stared through the windshield for several minutes.
He knew about my crush on Celia and teased me often about it. Jessie was the only one, and he took it to the grave the night he was speeding on the highway and crashed into a rock, sending him over the edge of the cliff into the water. He was such an asshole for leaving me that way. I sighed and leaned back, feeling the exhaustion from the last month getting the best of me. If I closed my eyes for just a minute, it wouldn’t hurt anything.
I came to later, noticing that the sun had moved a lot in the sky. I fell asleep? I glanced around and clicked on the car to see the clock. It was three hours later, and I blinked. I checked my phone for messages and set it down when I just saw a couple of texts. It was nothing about the job.
I noticed movement to my left and frowned when I saw a familiar red car. Celia? She parked in the first makeshift spot and leaned back, seemingly deep in thought. When did she learn about this beach?
I watched her for a while and Celia finally looked over at me. Her eyes widened in surprise and I grinned as I shrugged. She got out and walked over to me with a large sweater wrapped around her small body, and I watched as she slid into the passenger seat. “You know about this place?” I asked once she closed the door.
“I found it on a drive in high school and it became my thinking spot away from the beach behind your house. It’s small and remote and that is the kind I prefer.” She shrugged, and I smiled. Celia liked it for the same reasons that we did. “How did you find it?”
“Jessie and I found it one afternoon, and we came here for the same reason. I still do when he’s heavy on my mind. It’s like I can feel him here or something.” I looked forward, and she sat silently beside me.
“I feel my parents at every beach but mostly the one by your house. We spent a lot of time there for dinners and just summer days. They loved it and were getting ready to look into buying one of the homes once Dad retired.” I gazed at her, never knowing this before. “It didn’t happen. I suppose I could have done it myself but living in a big house all alone was depressing, no matter how gorgeous it was.”
“I understand,” I told her as I looked at her profile. She was beautiful, and I reached out and took her hand. Celia looked at me with a frown, but I saw the need in her eyes. “It’s okay to feel this way.”
“Not with you,” she replied as she looked back through the windshield.
“Why? Weren’t we good together?” I asked as she smirked.
“You were drunk and grieving, and I was still spinning over my parent’s loss. It was a great adult way of releasing our demons and yes… it was great. I’ll always remember it.” I watched as she smiled. “It wasn’t more than that and we have moved on.”