I loved to tease Mason. He was usually so good-natured about it. But when I said those words to him, I saw a flash of anger in his eyes. He was not amused by this line of questioning.
“You’re right,” Mason said. “There is something I’ve been thinking about, but I don’t know if it will work, or if it is what you would want.”
“Well, what is it? Tell me.”
“What would you say if I agreed to pay the Zeffaris to kill off the Scarlucci’ once and for all?”
The words hit me like a baseball bat to the back of the head. I felt a legitimate pain rocket up my spine into the base of my skull and then recede as if it were nothing. What in the world was he talking about?
“What? If they could just get rid of them that easily, why haven’t they?”
Mason sighed. “Because it would be a war and there would be massive casualties on both sides. That isn’t something either family wants to deal with or engage in. So far, it has been better to just have a cold war, even though the occasional flare ups do happen.”
“Wow,” I said. “I… I can’t ask them to do that. I don’t want anyone else getting hurt, on either side.”
“You can’t afford to be civil in a time of war. Ranier hasn’t heard anything from their camp, which means they could be gearing up for a full onslaught, or they might be laying low to rethink some other strategy. With a group like the Scarluccis, once you kill their own or even inadvertently cause the death of a member of their clan then it is open season on you and no amount of money will suffice. Blood with them is always stronger than money.”
“Wow, I didn’t realize they had so many codes of conduct,” I joked.
Mason was serious. “Oh, yeah. It is no laughing matter when family is involved.”
“How many of them are actual family?” I asked.
“Not that many, but with the mob once you are in then you are the same as blood. But if you do something dishonorable the punishment is death, same as family. So, that tells you how strong their blood bonds actually are. Really, it’s like a high level gang. It is difficult to understand unless you are actually in it.”
“Still, I can’t ask them to do that,” I said.
“That’s what I figured,” Mason replied. “But it may end up that way anyway. At this point we don’t know. However, if we do decide to attack first at least we will have the vantage point if this is something the Scarluccis are planning.”
“I feel like I should just go there and sacrifice myself. It’s all my fault.”
“No, it isn’t. And besides, even if you did that this thing between the two families is bigger than that now. They would still be at war with each other, and you would be gone. There isn’t anything you can really do at this point.”
I ran my hand through my hair. “So, all we can do is sit here and keep waiting? It’s driving me crazy.”
“I know,” Mason replied. He placed his hand on my shoulder and I leaned against it.
“Are you sorry you married me?” I asked.
The question hung in the air like a bullet waiting to find its target and both of us watching to see if it would be us. I’d said it—what I’d been thinking about in the back of my mind.
“What are you talking about?” Mason asked.
“I know you married me rather quickly,” I said. “We eloped. Now, you are stuck with me and all of my problems. There is no way for you to get out of this now. I… I feel horrible that I let myself do that to you.”
I tried to fight the tears. But this had been welling up inside of me for a while.
“Honey, listen to me. I married you because I love you. I have loved you from the moment I set my eyes upon you. And I love you so much more every single passing day. There is nothing in the world that you could do that would make me sorry I married you. Whatever happens to you will happen to me too. I want it that way. Do you understand? We are a team. We are in all of this together. You never should feel guilty about this.”
“But, I put you and Toby in danger. I… I can’t live with this…”
Mason shook me slightly. “Honey. Listen to me. This is what we want. I love you; Toby loves you. And you are part of us now and forever. Do I make myself clear?”
He held me tightly against his warm chest. Eventually, my tears stopped flowing and I began to calm down. It felt good to hear those words coming from his mouth, to know that he did not resent me in any way. I wasn’t sure how to alleviate my own guilt about what I’d done to people I cared about, but knowing that they were not sorry about it helped a lot.