Cave Man Need Wife (The First Mountain Man)

“Alpha-225, mission Black Dog Nite.”

There is no answer, and I mess with the antennae, knowing this satellite is the most durable of its kind. No way would the signal get knocked out from a fall.

Downstream, there’s light, and so I begin to walk toward it, hoping that it gets me closer to a signal.

As I walk along the underground stream, I take in the insects crawling on the walls. They are huge – beetles the size of my foot and spiders that are bright green.

The light is farther away than I expected, and I stumble, nearly face-planting on a pile of rocks.

I’m getting dizzy. Maybe it was the fall, or the fact I’ve been running on fumes for days. Sitting on a rock, hoping there isn’t some big ass bug next to me, I catch my breath. From my backpack, I pull out my jug of water and down the whole damn thing.

I look around, feeling like it’s too damn quiet, too damn still. Like this place has never been explored before – and I know we are in the jungle, but this feels different – looks different too. A lizard crawls through a crevice in the wall, jutting its big eyes at me – and damn, this thing looks fucking prehistoric with its long tail and scaly body. This isn’t an amphibian you can buy at the damn pet store.

My eyes follow it as it jumps from rock to rock, and then something small and amber-colored catches my eye, tucked between a rock and the cave floor. Everything else around is either green or brown – this stands out, looking like a gemstone.

I bend down to pick it up, realizing it’s not a lost treasure. It’s an egg the size of my hand, and it’s coated in thick amber, as if crystalized.

Huh. Looks ancient, like – if it didn’t sound crazy – some prehistoric dino egg from Jurassic Park.

I put my water away, pulling my pack back on before walking toward the light, carrying the egg in my hand.

The closer I get to the cave’s exit, the louder things become. It isn’t until I step outside that I see why. Before me is the ocean, wild and crashing, a sight I am happy to see.

The radio, though, still won’t work.

I know there are hotels all along this stretch of ocean – luxury high rise condos and massive all-inclusive resorts. Cancun is a few hours north, but all along the coast there are towns and cities boasting large tourist epicenters.

But as I look up and down this stretch of sea, all I see is the ocean and the jungle. Not a hotel in sight.

Then my eyes widen as something runs out of the tree line. It’s a giant lizard, the size of a car.

What the fuck.

And it’s being chased by an ape that is two times as tall as me.

I’m 6’4” so that’s saying something.

I look at the egg in my hand, wondering where the hell I fell to. Because this isn’t the 21st century.

I’m in the goddamn Stone Age.