This was exactly the thing I was trying to avoid. But telling Red the truth like this and hearing him become vulnerable with me was going to make me pop.
“I did the same thing,” I said.
“Liam...” Red started to say, rubbing the sides of his head. I could hear the protest in his voice already, and I couldn’t bear hearing any more.
I stood up quickly, fumbling on the couch for my jacket. “And that’s why I understand why you wanted the other part of the bet. The part where I never come into your bar again. And I’m going to honor that, Red.”
“Liam, it’s not like that—”
“I get it. We burned too bright. We got lost in each other. It was just... bad, for both of us. And I get why you can’t be my friend now.”
He stood, his hand gripping mine before I could walk toward the front doors. I swiveled back and his brown eyes were pinned on me, intense like I hadn’t seen them in years.
He didn’t let go of my hand.
“Maybe that part of the bet was stupid,” he said, his voice low in his throat, like he couldn’t even believe what he was saying.
“You don’t mean that,” I whispered.
I watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. “Come here.”
His hands slid around my waist, the warmth of his palms landing at the small of my back. I panicked a little, my pulse beating hard in my ears. Not because I didn’t want him to be touching me—Jesus, God, there was nothing else I wanted more in the world.
But some chaotic voice inside me was still screaming out, knowing that I didn’t deserve this. Knowing that Red was just in a heated moment right now, but that later he might regret it. Like he had regretted me, completely, ever since he left me.
I tried to back up, but his palm grew firmer on the small of my back, and I fucking loved that he was being insistent.
And my body kept lying to me, too. It felt like an invisible magnet was pulling me toward him, like if I just closed the gap between us, we would be us again, and I could ignore every reason why we shouldn’t be.
I let out a long breath, feeling like I had ten thousand miniature explosions going off in my body at once.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Red,” I whispered, “for everything I did.”
He just shook his head, leaning forward so that his forehead pressed up against mine. I felt so small in his arms, in the best way possible. He was like a cocoon I could wrap myself in.
“I’m sorry, too,” he said, his voice gravelly.
And then his nose was on mine, nudging my face to the side just a little, until I turned my face and our lips were hovering on top of one another. We breathed for a beat, so scared he was going to kiss me, and also so scared he wouldn’t.
I leaned forward just as he did, the two of us bringing our lips together in one fluid motion. A rush of warmth covering my mouth.
It was too much, it held too much, kissing someone who I’d held deep inside me like an ocean of memory for an entire decade.
I could feel the slight brush of his stubble, and the velvety dryness of his lips that gave way to a warm, wet rush as they parted. There was a sharp intake of air between us—maybe me, maybe him, maybe both of us. Like we were both caught off guard, shocked that our bodies could still feel this, if we let them.
He dipped low, wrapping his arms tighter around me as he kissed me, like he was no longer holding back. My body flushed with a new wave of heat as I leaned into him.
I opened for him and his tongue slid against mine, gentle at first and then more insistent. It was like his tongue had a direct line to my cock, and I was now very, very hard.
And Jesus Christ, I hadn’t been kissed like this in a fucking long time. Like he was claiming me—or, honestly, reclaiming something that had once belonged to him completely.
I was burning up. My cock ached under my pants. Red was pressing up against me, and I knew he must have felt my erection, but he didn’t seem to be bothered by it.
His fingertips dug into the small of my back as he sucked in a deep breath. We fumbled as he leaned forward a little too far and we lost our balance, taking a step back. My ass hit the arm of the couch behind me, and I collapsed back onto it while Red leaned forward over me, clutching me close, sloppy and awkward and impossibly fucking hot.
Our lips parted and for a split second, we held each other’s gaze, trapped in the moment together. Every cell of my body only felt one thing—I still needed Red. I needed him in a way I’d never needed another person. I didn’t fucking care what it meant, or how wrong it was, or about any of the consequences.