The video was up. And soon, an email newsletter would be sent out to every fan of Liam Hardy, letting them know that the mysterious cowboy was back. And everyone could jerk off to the most personal, private, special experience I’d had in years.
I shut off my computer and lay down on my couch. Bandit curled up next to me, and I pet him over and over, my brain swirling in a miasma of guilt, shame, and pain.
At the center of that self-pity spiral, there was one core little glowing thing, though. Something that felt good, even in the midst of all of the bullshit.
It felt good that I’d decided not to go to Red’s tonight.
It had been a decision I’d made for myself. It felt like resolve, like for once, I’d been able to follow my brain instead of my sick heart.
It was better that I spent time away from Red. Away from the tavern. I couldn’t let myself get attached to him again. Last time that happened, I’d ruined everything in a spectacular fashion.
I cuddled up on the couch next to Bandit and turned off my phone. I couldn’t escape anymore, but I could control this.
Even if I had to do it all alone.
11
Red
“And now, for the true treat of the evening, I will present to you what happens when you put ten green bucks into a very special song on the Red’s Tavern jukebox,” Sam said, grinning over at me.
“Oh hell, no, you won’t,” I said. “This isn’t a good time, Sam.”
Sam winked at me. There was a group of at least ten people that had been flocking at the bar all night, obsessed with him. He’d been making them crazy cocktails all night, and they’d been buying him a few drinks, too. He was on cloud nine, hamming it up, and I knew he wouldn’t stop for the world.
“There is a very special song on the jukebox. The title goes a little something like Pooour Some Suuugar on Meeee…”
“Sam, I really don’t feel like it,” I protested.
“And every time you play it, very special things happen in Red’s Tavern,” Sam said.
The tavern had been packed all night. The celebration had been everything Sam wanted it to be. He’d made a new custom tank top just for this evening that said Sexy Enough for TV!, and had done a ton of last-minute social media promotion for tonight’s event. We had specials on shots and cocktails, and we were playing an endless loop of Boozy Destinations episodes on the projector while people had a good time in the bar.
We’d been slammed all night, but I couldn’t stop checking the door to see if Liam had arrived. I kept wishing I could grab a moment to go and give him a call, but it hadn’t come yet.
“I’m putting the song on!” one of the young women exclaimed, tossing back another shot of some blue drink.
“Not if I do it first,” another guy said, and I watched as four people raced over to the jukebox to play the damned song.
Sam grinned at me, shrugging.
“Why would you do this to me?” I said, even though a slight smile was already on my face.
“You seemed like you needed a pick-me-up, boss,” he said. “If I’m being honest.”
Coming from Sam, that really meant a lot. Typically it seemed like Sam was in his own little rainbow-colored bubble, but he’d been right to see that I was wishing for something all night.
He just didn’t know that what I wanted was Liam.
And from the moment I heard those first few guitar licks of the song, the echoing vocals that I knew so well, energy bubbled through me, despite everything.
Of course, whenever the song came on, I couldn’t help myself from enjoying it to the full extent.
As the drum beat hit, I slowly began to unbutton my shirt. Heads started to turn all around the bar, and a few regulars immediately knew what was about to happen. Perry came out from the kitchen, and he started to smile seeing my little routine go down.
I whipped off my shirt, and the crowd went wild. I wasn’t normally an attention whore, but when “Pour Some Sugar on Me” was playing, quite frankly, I didn’t give a fuck who saw me in action. People began pulling out their cell phones and filming me, and I savored all of it.
I reached under the bar to the little cubby where I kept my cowboy hat. I popped it on my head, gyrating my hips to the beat of the song. I made my way to the end of the bar where there was a clear opening, with no drink glasses on top of it.
And when the first chorus of the song hit, I lifted myself up onto the bar and the whole crowd erupted into more shouts and whistles. I danced my ass off up there, making sure to incorporate my hat into the routine. People were laughing, singing along, and some started clapping.