“It always is,” I said.
“Maybe I need to date a guy next. Just someone who’s my buddy who will also suck my dick sometimes. That’s how it works, right?”
“Cameron, Jesus Christ,” I said. “I mean, kind of, sometimes, but—”
He laughed. “I’m just kidding. But I’m not going to lie, I am envious of what you have with Rock. You two seem genuinely happy. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you so happy, actually.”
I looked over at Rock, who was still animatedly talking to Mom. It seemed like he was acting out the scene of some movie, making a swimming motion of some sort. Mom was laughing so hard she was leaning back in her chair, and my heart skipped a beat seeing the two of them getting along so well.
And after all of this, I was going to have to let her know about our fake breakup. The thought made my stomach turn.
I put my beer down on the small table next to the bench. “I’m not going to finish this. You can have it if you want.”
“Damn. Okay,” Cam said.
I let out a long sigh. “I’m sorry. I’m just not in a good place to drink. After this week. It’s been… overwhelming.”
“Was it that bad?”
I bit the inside of my cheek, emotions bubbling up inside me faster than I could think.
“I actually wanted Rock last week. So badly. And it wasn’t always alcohol to blame.”
Cam paused, then cocked his head to one side. “What do you mean, actually wanted him?”
I froze in place, realizing immediately what I’d said, nearly blowing my cover of the fake relationship. “I… um… wanted Rock to do things that we’d never discussed doing before.”
“Oh, hell yes,” Cameron said, a smile on his face. “You never open up to me about this stuff. Do you mean fetishy, kinky—”
“Stop, stop,” I said, feeling a deep blush rising in my cheeks already.
“No, you can’t get out of it now,” Cam said. “It’s no big deal. Did you want to get tied up or something? It’s not so bad.”
“I am not discussing this with my brother.”
“We’re basically best friends,” he told me. “You know you can tell me anything.”
Right. Anything. Anything other than the fact that I was faking an entire relationship for this reunion. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
I bit the inside of my cheek. “All I was saying was that this week was a lot. For all of us.”
“I know, Per.”
“Dad!” Chloe’s voice floated through the air as she sprinted toward us, proudly holding up a small chain of flowers. “Check it out.”
Saved by the niece. There was one more reason I loved being an uncle so much.
“That’s awesome, honey,” Cameron said, examining the intricate way Chloe had threaded the flowers into a chain. “You did a damn good job.”
She beamed, brushing a tuft of her silky hair out of her face. “It took a long time.”
“Yeah, because she copied me,” Cooper said, traipsing up to her side with his own creation, fashioned out of long blades of grass instead of little flowers.
“Mine’s better though,” Chloe said with a defiant shrug. Twelve year olds definitely didn’t mince words.
“They’re both super cool, guys,” I said, reaching out to see the braiding work Cooper had done to make a little weaved grass rectangle. “You’re so creative. I don’t think I could do this.”
“Mommy was being so boring. She’s talking to that girl about the divorce.” Chloe said the last word long and drawn out: deeee-vorce.
Cam winced immediately, his eyes glancing up to see who Rachel was apparently telling about the divorce.
“Who was Mommy talking to, Chloe?” he said, clearly trying to sound unperturbed.
“Her,” Cooper said, pointing a grass-stained finger toward Lilly and Rachel, who were still standing between trees, luckily no longer smoking. Lilly had a sympathetic frown on her face, as if Rachel had been telling her serious things.
Shit. Cam was going to hate this. Lilly almost looked uncomfortable as Rachel talked, shaking her head.
“We agreed not to…” Cameron said under his breath.
Every protective instinct inside me reared up fast. I felt a need to take care of my younger brother, just as I always had when we were growing up. I knew that instinct would never leave me. If Cam was being hurt, no matter the cause, I had to make it stop.
Cursehound was walking over to them now, complicating matters even more. He was known for rambling, and if he caught on to the divorce, the gossip would spread like wildfire.
“Oh, not him, too,” Cam said.
I had to do something.
“C’mon,” I told him, and I stood up quickly. I tapped his shoulder impatiently. “Let’s go.”
“Perry, there’s no point.”
“There is. Let’s go.”
Chloe and Cooper ran off, fighting about what the definition of “braiding” was, as Cameron and I approached the group.
“Cursehound!” I called out. He looked up at me, scowling, his long black hair framing his face. “I was just wondering, what was that band you’re so obsessed with? Metallica, or… Guns ‘n’ Roses, or something?”