“Hi…” he said.
“That seems to be our thing.”
“It’s ridiculous.”
“So negative,” I replied, then, “I got a message from this guy—Confused. Thing is…it struck a chord with me. I feel the same way he does. I didn’t plan what to do next, just knew I had to see him. That was all that mattered. Being here. This isn’t how it works in the movies. They always know what to do or say in these moments.” I lifted my bag up higher on my shoulder. This wasn’t me. I wasn’t supposed to be nervous or not know how to act. “I think you’re ruining me.” I could see how that might be taken the wrong way, but Elijah smiled. In a short time he’d learned to get me.
“Right? It’s the same for me. Like, what the fuck? I’m totally feelin’ you…or…Confused is feeling Animation Guy.”
Hearing him say it out loud was exactly what I needed. My feet unrooted themselves from the floor, and I stepped inside. I cupped his face in my hands, and he sucked in a breath.
“You’re bruised,” he whispered.
“I don’t care,” I replied before my mouth covered his. Elijah’s lips parted. My tongue slipped inside, and I felt a little tingly and way too jittery for a fucking kiss.
He pulled my bag off my shoulder and dropped it gently to the floor. I kicked the door closed behind me as Elijah was walking backward and me forward, and I dipped my head to his neck, licking him there. “It was driving me crazy trying to figure out what your skin would taste like.”
“And?”
I shrugged, not having the words right then. “You.”
This time it was Elijah slamming his mouth on mine. We were still moving until I backed him into the couch. Elijah tried to move around the arm and fell. I caught him and pulled him up before we collapsed onto the cushions together, laughing. It was one of my favorite things, I realized—laughing with him.
“What are we doing?” he asked as I kissed his neck again, shoved my hand under this shirt, then slid down to kiss his flat belly.
“Being stupid.”
“So stupid.” His hand tightened in my hair.
“Being stupid with you is really fucking fun.”
We laughed again, muffled when our mouths molded together, Elijah’s tongue moving with mine. I nibbled at his bottom lip, and his hand roamed down my back, then slid up, his blunt nails journeying up to my shoulders.
I wanted to take everything off him. To use my tongue on him everywhere. To fuck him or let him fuck me, and with most guys or women, we would do all those things. But this was E, and he wasn’t into casual hookups, which reminded me how fucked this whole thing was because that was all I did.
So I pulled back a little. I was on top of him, my body between his legs, our chests pressed together. “I don’t know what to do from here. I don’t know what you want.” I ran my finger down the bridge of his nose, across one cheek, then over to the other.
He blinked a few times, gave me this gentle look like I’d done something sweeter than touch him so innocently.
“You’re killing me here, Eli. I don’t want to want you, but I do.”
“That makes two of us,” he admitted. Despite the fact that I’d said the same thing to him, there was a sharp sting in my chest.
I leaned closer, shook my hair across his face. He puffed out a breath, so I did it again to be silly and hoping it would make him laugh, which it did. Our bodies vibrated together, starting in his chest and transferring to mine.
He pushed his fingers through my hair like he had last night. His other was at the small of my back, drawing lazy circles there.
“You’re beautiful,” I found myself saying. “Especially when you laugh.”
Elijah’s breath hitched, and he looked at me with all sweetness in his eyes. If it had been anyone else, that look would make me run, but I couldn’t. Not from him.
“I don’t think I’m in love with Danny,” he admitted, and my whole body tensed. Was he saying… “No, no! I’m not saying I’m in love with you. Don’t freak out. I just…like you.”
I dropped my forehead to his, my thoughts spinning, making me dizzy. Words sat on the tip of my tongue, things I’d never told anyone else but knew I had to tell him. “I’m fucking scared, E.”
“And you don’t think I am?”
I pulled away, sat up, pretending I didn’t notice him flinch when I did so. Elijah sat on the other end of the couch, with his feet on the cushion, his legs pulled close to his body and his arms around them.
No matter what, I knew I had to do this. I knew I had to tell him so he would understand.