His eyes were a little wide as if he didn’t know what to think of me, which I understood. At the moment, I didn’t know what to think of me either, other than the fact that I was likely the most awkward guy in the world.
Kira shot to her feet too, her box braids swinging as she moved. “Towels. You can get us towels.”
I looked at her, then back at Sexy Waiter. He cocked a brow. “You good?”
“Yes?” Shit, I’d made my answer sound like a question. That was just great. “Yeah, I’m fine, you know, just dying, is all.”
He chuckled. “I need to go get something to clean this up. Be right back.”
I nodded dumbly. At least he was being a good sport about this. It could have been worse. It had been worse. Good-looking guys always screwed with my brain.
The second he was gone, Kira said, “Boy, I’m gonna kick your ass. I can’t believe you spilled another drink.”
“I can’t help it!” I didn’t know what it was that came over me anytime I had to speak to someone I was attracted to. It had been like that my whole life. If I was being honest, it was part of how I realized I was gay. Girls had never made me act the fool, but even when I was Little Jameson, my ass turned into Captain Clumsy anytime there was a cute guy around.
“We have got to get you laid,” our friend Ali said from her seat. She hadn’t even stood up.
“Shh. What the hell? Why don’t you tell the entire restaurant my business?”
“No one heard me. Chill out.” She pushed her curly hair out of her face. Ali was big on keeping her hair natural.
The truth was, I was on board with getting laid. Other than my tendency to turn awkward around men, there was no real reason I was a virgin. Well, maybe the fact that I’d never had a boyfriend, but it didn’t take a relationship to have sex. I didn’t know if it took one for me or not, since, again, I’d never had one.
Still, I didn’t have strong feelings about being attached to someone before fucking. I just happened to have never been in a situation to screw, and I’d never gone out looking for it. The two spilled glasses were exhibits A and B in the evidence of why.
And, well, that wasn’t true either. There had been a couple of random incidents in my life where something more could have happened, but it never ended up with me orgasming with another person. It kinda sucked.
At twenty-two, it was probably time. Just thinking about my age made me feel like a loser, but really, I couldn’t help it. I had a busy life. I’d just gotten my bachelor’s in sociology. In the fall, I’d begin graduate school for my doctorate. I had a lot going on, and apparently that took precedence over men and sex. “We’ll talk about this later,” I replied, seeing my waiter approach. “I’m going to the bathroom. You pay, and I’ll get you back.” I wasn’t proud of the fact that I raced my ass out of the restaurant, but that was exactly what I did. The bathroom thing was a lie. Talking to Tall, Dark, and Handsome again would have been too much.
A few minutes later Kira and Ali came out, both looking like they had a bone to pick with me. “Come on. Like I was going to face him again.”
“We need to talk about this little problem of yours,” Kira replied.
“Nah, I don’t think we do. I’ll get a car. Let’s go back to my condo.”
They nodded, but I could tell neither was happy about it.
I pulled up the app on my phone and ordered us a ride to my place. It didn’t take the driver long to get there, and before I knew it, I was unlocking my door and they were following me inside.
I’d known Kira all my life. Our parents were close. We used to take baths together, and she was the first person to paint my nails and let me try on her dresses. I told her I was gay before anyone else, though my parents weren’t surprised when I told them. It had never been a big deal in my house. Mom was pretty active in the community, and she ran a group for parents of queer kids. They did a lot of outreach, especially in the queer Black community.
I was lucky as hell. I wasn’t dumb enough not to realize that, but sometimes it was…a lot.
Ali we met in high school, and she’d fallen in with us. She met Kira first, and it had been different, our duo becoming a trio, but now I loved Ali too. They knew everything about me and vice versa.