He didn’t.
He drank more wine. “I want to be a professor. I know you’re probably wondering why someone as awkward and stumbling as me would want that, but it’s different in that environment, if that makes sense. It’s mine. I can be myself there. I feel a lot more confident when I’m discussing the things I’m passionate about or what I feel I know.”
I could hear it in his voice, the pride he had in that moment. Suddenly, I wanted to see him there, in that space, and watch him shine.
Instead, the waiter returned and plopped our plates in front of us, and Jameson said, “Oh my God. This smells so good.”
I smiled, a legit, happy smile. I didn’t know why him enjoying the smell of our dinner made me feel that way, but it did.
He finished the rest of his wine before saying, “Can I have one more?” which the waiter brought him. “What about you? What do you do?”
And this was the weird part. I didn’t want to tell Jameson exactly where I worked. I had been in a bachelor auction and he’d paid for me, so I didn’t know if that could somehow look bad for Crane Entertainment. Not that I didn’t trust Jameson, and I didn’t know how I expected it to get out, but all I could do was imagine the headline: Will Carson, personal assistant to Leon Crane, sells his body for sex!
I liked my job too much to risk it, so I was as vague as possible. “As I mentioned at the auction, I went to Atlanta State University. Got a business degree. From there I worked in banking. I hated it, so now I’m doing something I actually like. I’m a personal assistant for a great guy, and there’s potential for growth.”
Jameson cocked his head slightly, and I wondered if I said something wrong. “Good. You deserve to be happy. I might not know you well, but I know that.”
My pulse raced as my heart slammed against my chest. I didn’t know what it was about him saying that, but it did something to me. Made me feel like I was on the right track and it was okay that I didn’t work with my brothers, because I did deserve to be happy, right? “Thank you. I appreciate that.”
Jameson raised his glass and drank. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted, ya know? I probably won’t get married or have all these love affairs with gorgeous men, but I’ll be happy in my career. I’ll make sure of it.”
I hated the way he saw himself. That he didn’t see how cute he was. Maybe he wasn’t that guy all over Instagram with muscles and confidence. That guy who was sort of like me. Not that I was some kind of bodybuilder, but I was fit. But yeah, as I sat there, I realized what a tragedy it was that Jameson didn’t think he’d have love affairs, or sex affairs, if I was reading him right. I liked sex a lot and had never had trouble finding it, had never been turned down for dates, hadn’t even been broken up with except the one time, but that was Shaw’s fault. Lisa, the girl I was dating then, thought Shaw and I hung out too much.
I didn’t know if Jameson wanted those things, but if he did, he deserved to have them.
“What?” he asked. His lips looked cutely pouty.
“Nothing. I just like you. I have no doubt you’ll be happy, and I also think you’re going to drive plenty of men wild, is all.”
Before it embarrassed him, I looked down at my plate, twisted some pasta around my fork, and took a bite.
“I…” Jameson started. When I looked up, he was finishing his glass of wine. Damn, the boy could put it away.
“You what?”
“I don’t feel so well. I didn’t eat today. I was nervous about the date, and I didn’t eat—wait, I said that part already—and then the wine, and… Will, the room is spinning. Why is the room spinning?”
“Oh shit. Can you eat now? Do you think that will help?”
He put a hand to his stomach and bent over. I was taking that as a no.
“Okay…” I had no idea what to do. He was leaning over to the side and breathing heavily. I got up, walked over, and began rubbing his back. “Let’s get you to the bathroom.”
He shook his head. “Air.”
“Is everything okay?” the waiter asked.
I tugged my wallet from my pocket and gave him my card. “We’re fine. Just a little stomach bug. Can we go ahead and pay? I’m going to take him right outside for some fresh air.”
The waiter cracked a smile. He knew damn well this wasn’t a stomach bug but the wine. I should have seen it coming, but I didn’t know he hadn’t eaten all day because he was nervous about going out with me.