Awkward Love (Stumbling into Love 2)

And then, then I talked. I told him about the book and about stats, and Will listened. He never looked bored, even though he must have been. Every once in a while, he’d feed me a bite of ice cream, until it was finished and he set it on the table, and I kept talking.

I didn’t know how much time had passed before I said, “Sorry. I know you probably didn’t want to know that much. I just get excited when I talk about these things.”

“Don’t be sorry. It was cute. You also didn’t seem embarrassed or shy at all. You know your shit. That’s cool. Don’t feel bad about that.”

He was right, of course he was, but still it helped to hear it from him. No one said things like that to me, not the way Will did.

He looked down, flipping his cell over and over in his hands. I’d gotten so into what I was talking to him about, I’d forgotten he’d been upset. It was clear now, in the slope of his shoulders and the silence between us. “You can, um…talk to me, ya know? I know that’s not what this is about. We’re supposed to be an orgasm fling, which sounds weird when I say it like that, so I’m never going to do that again.”

He chuckled softly, and I liked it, liked that I could make him smile.

Will stood and held his hand out for me. I took it, and he tugged me to my feet, then led me to my bedroom again. Even though I loved kissing him and touching him and coming with him, there was a stab of disappointment there too. I’d hoped he would talk to me, that somehow we could be a little more to each other, even if it was just a fling.

“Lie down,” Will said, and I did. He pulled off his pants and shirt but kept his underwear on before crawling on top of me. I spread my legs for him, my cock already hard, our groins pressed together. Will didn’t have an erection. He leaned down, kissed my neck, sucked my earlobe, and rutted against me. My hands traveled up and down the smooth skin of his back before settling on the globes of his ass.

His mouth found mine, and we kissed and thrust, and…nothing. After a few minutes, Will buried his face in my neck, sighed, and relaxed on top of me. “Sorry. It’s not you.”

“It’s okay.”

He didn’t move, didn’t roll off me, just lay there, breathing close to my ear. I didn’t know what to do at first. I had no experience with all this, but it was clear Will needed something from me. Maybe he simply needed to feel close to someone, so I wrapped my arms around him again, hugged him tight, and waited.

“It’s my dad’s birthday,” he said softly.

“Shit. I’m sorry.” As crazy as my parents made me, I couldn’t imagine not having them around.

Will leaned up a little so his face wasn’t in the crook of my neck anymore and he could look down at me. “It’s probably weird that I came here and I’m being…like this. I don’t know why I drove straight here, but I think maybe you’re easy to talk to and you’ll get it.”

“I’m glad you came. I want you to talk to me. Just because this is only a fling doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.” My teeth pressed into my bottom lip.

“You and that fucking lip bite. So damn cute.” He pressed a playful, smacking kiss to my lips.

“You’re changing the subject.”

“No, I really do like it when you do that.” I rolled my eyes, and he groaned before rolling off me. “Ugh, I don’t know. I don’t know why tonight was different. Maybe it was because I had a great day at work. My boss, he’s awesome and seems to truly like me. He said he’s proud of me, and it made me think about my family because they don’t ever say that to me. Then I went home, and my brothers started in like they always do. And they were talking about the company, which I know nothing about, and Brad is having a little girl and everyone knew but me. They went outside together, and they were talking about Dad, and I just…wasn’t a part of it. And I know I could have gone outside just as easily as they could have invited me, but it doesn’t feel right. They all share this connection they don’t have with me. It makes me feel like a disappointment. It sounds fucking crazy, I know, but I was thinking of my dad looking at them and how proud he would be and how much he got them in ways he never got me. He loved me. I know they all love me, but they don’t get me. Hell, they still think I should just try and be with women since I’m bi. And sometimes, it feels like Jonathan has this anger toward me.” He paused. “Holy shit. I obviously needed to get all that out.”