Awkward Love (Stumbling into Love 2)

He tasted so good, salty and strong. Maybe it was a good thing this was ending because I was pretty sure I could get addicted to Will’s dick on my tongue.

“Fuck…Jameson…baby, I’m gonna…” Will’s words trailed off, and my brain became a record skipping over the word, baby, baby, baby, over and over and over again. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t move the needle to get the word off repeat. Will had called me baby. He had never used a term of endearment like that before.

I took him deeper, gagged myself on him a little, but I didn’t care. He held my head gently, thrust, and then cried out. His body tensed as he spurted his release on my tongue. I swallowed it down, felt another rush of his orgasm jetting into my mouth, and I swallowed that down too.

Will was breathing heavily. I tugged on my cock, still sucking him, but then he pulled out, jerked me up to the couch, and his knees kissed the carpet. Will’s mouth wrapped around my cock just as my orgasm ripped through me and I shot, my eyes blurry, the world spinning as I spilled my load in three bursts down his throat.

Then…then we were quiet. He laid his cheek on my thigh. My fingers tingled, and I couldn’t help reaching over and playing with the blond strands of his soft hair. My eyes stung slightly, but I fought it off. Oh my God, I couldn’t cry. What in the hell was wrong with me? Going into it, I’d known what this was, and now I was getting all… I shook my head, not wanting to put my thoughts to words. “So…it was good?” I found myself asking.

He looked up at me, then did the sweetest thing. Well, it felt sweet to me. Will leaned in and kissed my flaccid cock before saying, “Best blowjob I ever had.”

It wasn’t, obviously it wasn’t, but I appreciated the sentiment. “Yeah, me too. Clearly, since it was the first I gave and all, but even if it wasn’t, it would be the best. That’s probably weird to say, so I’m going to shut up now.”

I waited for him to laugh, to tease me playfully the way we did, but he didn’t. My eyes found his, and Will was looking at me with…something. I didn’t know. Some kind of affection I didn’t expect in his gaze.

I looked away. “We should, um…get dressed.” The words broke something inside me, cracked up my insides, and this was bad, so bad, because I wanted to beg him to stay and wished I hadn’t gone to the stupid party tonight. I wanted to remain blissfully ignorant to our situation. My dad aside, walking away was likely for the best because I was going to start feeling things and wanting things I had no business feeling and wanting. It wasn’t what we’d agreed to, and I couldn’t imagine Will desiring the same.

“Yeah, okay.” He stood up, then I did. My clothes were still around my ankles, so I pulled them up and watched him tug his underwear on, then his pants, then his shoes, and this was it, and my stupid eyes were stinging again. Stop, stop, stop!

“Thank you for picking me,” Will said softly. “It was an honor.”

He pressed a soft kiss to my lips, turned, and went for the door. The second it closed, I walked over to it, put my hand against it, then turned and slid to the floor. This wasn’t supposed to hurt. I rubbed a hand over my chest. It was supposed to be fun, a sexploration. A fling, then a goodbye. It hadn’t even lasted as long as it was supposed to, and I was losing it, felt this emptiness in my chest, and realized Will had already carved out a spot for himself there.

What was I doing? Why was I walking away? Sure, I’d end up hurt, but this—this feeling in my chest, the way my blood pumped through my veins, the passion and confidence and want—wasn’t anything I had ever experienced. Was I just going to bail on it?

There were so many things stacked against us, against me, but as I sat there, back to the door, almost crying, thinking of the things he said to me and the way he made me feel, nothing else mattered. This was supposed to be my summer, damn it. All that other stuff wasn’t supposed to matter.

Ali and Kira had each other, and while theirs would be more than a fling, I didn’t want to lose what I had. I wanted to hold on and worry about the other shit later. It wasn’t like I would have to see my dad and Will together again. We didn’t have to talk about work. We could go on the way we had been before we found out. We’d keep it a secret so my dad would never know and Will wouldn’t risk his job.