Awkward Love (Stumbling into Love 2)

“Don’t fuck up a good thing like I almost did,” Shaw added.

“I feel like you guys are ganging up on me.”

Shaw held out his hand, and Ali gave him a high five. Obviously, they were ganging up on me.

The first of the fireworks started then, and everyone’s eyes turned to the sky. Kira moved close to Ali, who wrapped her arms around her. Shaw lay with his head in Elijah’s lap, while Eli played with his hair.

Brooklyn leaned over, her head on Elijah’s shoulder.

My eyes found Jameson, and he was looking at me. There was a pull in my chest, so strong I couldn’t ignore it. I moved closer to him and put my hand on his thigh. “Is this okay? Even if someone your parents know is here, I don’t think anyone will see.”

He nodded, then put his hand on mine and rested his head on my shoulder. “Thank you for tonight. It’s been…perfect.”

“I didn’t do anything. But yeah, I agree.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Jameson

A couple of weeks had gone by since the Fourth of July. Will and I spent most of our free time together. Well, his free time. With it being summer, free time was mostly all I had. But he came over after work and on weekends. We shared meals, and watched movies together, and even went to dinner at Shaw and Elijah’s. We took a trip to a museum too and joked about plans to visit all the museums in Georgia together. It would never happen, of course. It was fun to dream, though.

What I really wanted to do was take him to museums in New York. We lay in bed and talked about it one night. “It’s not like we won’t stay friends after,” Will had said.

“Friends who take trips together?”

He shrugged. “Maybe.”

I’d decided right then that somehow, I would take Will to New York City.

Things weren’t always that easy, however. He’d been late a couple of times because my dad had kept him at work. We avoided the topic of what he did and who he did it for, but I’d overheard him talking with Shaw about his job, about how much he loved it and the new responsibilities my dad gave him. How all he’d ever wanted was a chance like this. He’d told Shaw he would be traveling to LA with my dad in September.

It made my guts get all twisted up. I wanted that for Will. He deserved it. I just wished like hell it wasn’t with my dad. I wasn’t sure if that made me an asshole or not.

It was a Thursday afternoon, and Will would be coming over that evening. Kira and Ali had come over. We went to lunch at this soul-food restaurant we loved and then went to the park to hang out for a bit. Will and I mostly stayed in because we didn’t want to run into anyone my family knew.

We were lying in the grass under a tree when Kira asked, “Sooooo?”

“So, what? I’m sweating, and I hate to sweat.”

She laughed at me, but it was Ali who spoke, “Boy, you know that’s not what she meant.”

Yeah, yeah I did. Plus, even though it was hot, it was nice to be out of my condo. “There’s nothing new to say.” I played with one of Kira’s box braids, twisting it around my finger. “Will and I are still fooling around.”

“Fooling around? What are you, eighty? You’re hooking up,” Kira teased.

“Eat a dick, my friend,” I joked back.

“No, thank you, but we know you’ve been doing that quite a bit lately. Well, not the eating of one, but sucking on that thing like a lollypop—ooh, or one of those long, thick Popsicles. What are they called?”

“Rocket pops, I think,” Ali supplied.

I rolled my eyes but didn’t blush, which was an improvement. “So, you just want to talk to me about sex?”

“You’re finally having it, so yes, yes I do.” Kira’s braid fell from my grip, but she handed it back to me. We were lying on our stomachs, next to each other, leaning on our elbows.

The truth was, I did sort of want to talk about sex, and it was awesome that I was finally having some, but then… “I don’t think he wants to go all the way with me,” I found myself admitting.

“I promise, pumpkin, he wants to fuck you. There’s no doubt in my mind,” Ali said.

“Then why haven’t we had sex? I’ve hinted more than once, but he always stops it at giving head—not that I don’t enjoy blowing him or getting blown. It’s so good.” I trembled.

“Oh my God!” Kira shrieked. “Your eyes just rolled back in your head. Give me my braid back. You can’t touch my hair while you’re thinking of orgasms.”

I dropped her hair. “Ew, gross. It’s not like I’m thinking about orgasms with you.” I turned onto my back. “It’s just…what if he doesn’t want to have sex with me? Obviously, I’ll respect that and it’s not a big deal, but…” I really wanted to have sex with Will. What if he was worried I’d suck at it?