Jameson stayed close to me, hand tangled with mine as we chatted with everyone.
Our drinks came, and we sipped them, once finished, not ordering any more. At one point, Kira, who looked a little buzzed, one of her braids in her face, said, “Can I borrow your boyfriend for a minute? Okay, thanks, bye.” Before I had a chance to reply, she was pulling Jameson away.
My brain did this strange replay thing like there was a little DJ in my skull who just kept mixing and repeating the word boyfriend in different ways. Oh God. I wanted him to be my boyfriend, but I didn’t know how to ask him. I’d never been in this situation before. If I wanted something, I went for it, but this was Jameson, and if he said no, it would…oh fuck, it would break me.
“Did you tell him you love him yet?” Shaw said close to my ear.
“Go away. You’re like an annoying fly buzzing around my head.”
Shaw laughed. “I’m not even gonna take offense at that. I’m at a bar, with my man, having fun with friends, bugging the shit out of you, and watching you watch him like…I don’t know. Someone who watches things.”
I chuckled. “You’re an idiot, and you’re drunk.”
“I’m a drunk idiot with a hot boyfriend when you’re too afraid to get the same.”
“Aren’t you the one who always thought relationships were stupid?”
“That was before E, and now I’m like, relationships are the fucking shit. Dude, I have a gorgeous guy in my bed every night, who no one can touch but me. And I like him, and he’s funny, and I love him…fuck. I am drunk. Where’s Elijah? I want Elijah.”
The man in question appeared at his side. “You have that dopey, buzzed look in your eyes.”
“That’s because I’m drunk and I missed you,” Shaw said to him. Elijah plucked the empty glass from Shaw’s hand.
“I think that’s enough for you.” As soon as he finished speaking, Shaw’s tongue was down his throat. So yeah, that was nice. Or, you know, not. I wanted my tongue in Jameson’s mouth too.
I turned and saw Kira and Jameson talking excitedly about something. Well, she was excited. He looked like he was that, but also a little nervous.
Right then his eyes found me, and he smiled at me from across the space. My heart jumped, feeling like it was trying to burst out of my chest and go to him—seriously, like flutter across the room and smack him right in the chest. I saw it like a weird-ass cartoon in my head. I was incredibly fucked.
“Be good, you little asshole,” I said to my own organ, which yeah, was strange, but whatever.
Jameson came over. “Why do you look odd? Almost like you’re going to be sick?”
“Nothing. Just my heart being weird.”
“Wait. What? Do you have a heart condition?”
I was pretty sure I did, and its name was Jameson Crane, but I didn’t say that. “No, ignore me. I’m being strange.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
No, I’m not sure at all. My heart wants to flutter to you and dissolve into your chest. “Yes.”
Kira and Ali came over. Elijah and Shaw managed to surgically remove their lips from one another. Danny was dancing with some guy, likely whoever his hookup was for the night, but then he met up with us too. Brooklyn had a girl with her I didn’t recognize. I didn’t know if they were a thing or not.
We were all talking and laughing, and I realized Jameson had loosened up some. He had his hand in mine, but not in a death grip.
Elijah started talking to Jameson, and he let go of my hand. He always talked with his hands, which was cute, and ugh, everything he did was adorable.
I found myself scooting closer to him, putting my arms around him from behind. “I missed my professor,” I said, and wanted to rip my own vocal cords out because that sounded so needy and, again, shmoopy.
“Whatever.” I didn’t have to see his face to know he rolled his eyes.
“I did. I don’t care if you were only two feet away.”
“Aww!” Kira said.
Jameson turned around. I still held on to him. “I, um…missed you too?”
“I believe that was a question, but I’ll let it slide.”
“Let’s go dance!” Kira said, and everyone was in agreement. They all moved toward the dance floor, but I didn’t move. Didn’t go.
“You don’t like to dance?” Jameson asked.
“Eh, doesn’t matter.” I shrugged. I loved to dance, but I didn’t want him to feel bad.
“Will, you don’t have to babysit me.”
“I’m not. Let’s sit down.” I grabbed his hand and pulled, but he didn’t move. I sighed. “Don’t make it a thing. It’s not.”
“I, um…went to this school dance my freshman year. This guy asked me to dance. I was so shocked because I couldn’t believe this gorgeous guy wanted to dance with me, ya know? Plus, homophobia and the South. I went to a private, liberal school, but still.”