Awkward Love (Stumbling into Love 2)

This was not the change of discussion I had in mind. “Oh, I’m not, um…well, maybe I am, but I don’t know… It’s new, you see, and I’m still trying to figure out…everything.”

Leon chuckled. “I’ve been there. It’ll get better. Just don’t screw it up. I almost did with Bri. We were teenagers, just kids when we got together, so it wasn’t easy, and I was a damn fool. I’m lucky she stuck around through my shit. Always let her know she comes first. That’s the best advice I can give you. I didn’t always make sure she knew that. Too often, business came before everything else.”

This was so damn weird. I wished I could fake feeling sick again, but on the other hand, I liked talking to Leon. My own father had never done this with me. “He, actually. The person; my person. He’s a he.”

“Oh.” Leon nodded. “I guess I shouldn’t have assumed. My son would scold me if he were here. He’s gay—I can’t remember if I ever told you that—and I’ve had a lot to learn. I’m still learning.”

Tell him, tell him, tell him ran laps in my head, but the truth was, even if I wanted to, I couldn’t. Not without Jameson’s permission.

“That’s good that you are, though. My dad, when he was alive, he never tried. It was a little different for me because I’m bi, which to him meant I did like girls, so I should only date them and not guys. He was always awkward about it, and for me, it was another way that I didn’t fit with my dad and my brothers. I never felt like I did anyway, but that made it worse.” I paused, realizing all I’d said to him. I hadn’t thought about it. The words had just come out. “Sorry. I’m sure you didn’t want to hear all that. You’re my boss, not my therapist.”

“Don’t apologize, son.” My gaze snapped to him when he called me son. It wasn’t the first time, but it always made me feel…wanted. Seen. Accepted. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. I know I’m not your dad, but you can talk to me. I’m not sure how good I am at all this. Sometimes I worry I’ve let Jameson down. Not necessarily about his sexuality. His mom and I knew from a young age. Well, she knew first, and she pulled me aside one day and said, listen, this is what’s up, I think one day our boy is going to tell us something that we never took the time to discuss before we had kids, and you better get your head on straight right now, because our son will always know he’s loved and accepted for who he is. And I knew before that, but it wasn’t until Brianna said the words that I let them hit me. I had to decide who I wanted to be as a father, and it was the kind who would love unconditionally, who would go to the ends of the earth to protect his kids, who wouldn’t let anyone hurt them. Again, I screw up, I don’t always say or do the right thing. He’s so different from me—shy, insecure. Sometimes I feel like I don’t know how to talk to him. Like I said before, no aspirations to be any part of Crane Entertainment. I wanted to share this with him. That was the biggest blow, but what can you do?”

I was fairly certain my mouth was hanging open at everything he’d just said. It felt wrong, so wrong to listen to him talk about Jameson. Like I was betraying my boyfriend and Leon’s trust. I had no right to hear these things when I was spending my nights in Jameson’s bed. But I also couldn’t let this moment pass.

“I think he’s lucky to have you, and…well, he sounds really great, so you’re lucky to have him too. And you just talk to him like you’re talking to me or anyone else—like a person. It’s hard when you feel like you don’t have anything in common with your parent. It was like that with mine. My family has a construction business. It was my dad, then my dad and my brothers. I wanted nothing to do with it, and they couldn’t wrap their minds around it. My brothers think I believe I’m better than them. My dad was disappointed in me. I think it’s brave of your son to follow his dreams. You should be proud you raised him to be who he is. That’s what matters. And maybe…maybe you should tell him how you feel and that you’re proud of him…sir.”

Then, then I held my breath and hoped like hell I hadn’t just fucked up and overstepped. Leon was my boss. I had no business telling him any of that, but Jameson was my boyfriend, and my loyalty was with him.