Awkward Love (Stumbling into Love 2)

“What? No. They know. He asked if I was going up with you.”

He was right, of course, but still it felt…weird. My mind was reeling—from the fact that Brianna and Leon knew, and that Leon still called me son. That had to be good. Logically, I was taking that as a good sign, but yeah, similarly to what Jameson said, I was all twisted up and feeling conflicting emotions. He’d also said we had to talk, and that scared the shit out of me. I didn’t want to lose my job. I loved what I did. But Jameson, I loved him, and nothing was more important than him. Jameson who had stood his ground, for me, Jameson who had told his own father he wouldn’t forgive him if this affected my position at Crane.

“Jesus…I can’t believe all this is happening. Are you okay?” Jameson walked over to me and frowned.

The last thing I wanted was to stress him out. This was his family. That was more important than me. Even though I didn’t feel it, I plastered a smile on my face. “Yeah, I’m fine. Your dad seemed chill, yeah? Like he didn’t freak out or anything. Hell, he knew, and he invited me here, and like you said, he’s the one who mentioned coming up with you, so I’m not worried.” Everything I’d said other than I’m fine and I’m not worried was true. I wasn’t sure I was fine, and I was definitely worried, even if I probably shouldn’t be. Leon had known, and he had invited me, and he had said we could go up together.

Something about Jameson had turned me into a worrier…maybe because I’d never had something I cared so much about losing before.

But I did when it came to him.

“You sure?” he asked.

“Yep,” I lied.

“Do you realize that whole exchange happened and I didn’t ramble once? That has to be some kind of record.”

He grinned, and I kissed his smile. Jameson’s smiles were one of my favorite things. In some ways, it helped to soothe the frantic worry inside me. “But I like it when my professor rambles.”

“I’ll still do it sometimes for you,” he teased, and we kissed again.

Afterward the two of us got changed and into bed. Instead of pulling together like we always did, we automatically moved toward the opposite sides of the bed, like we were afraid if we touched, it would trigger some alarm and this whole thing would blow up in our faces.

It took Jameson longer to get to sleep than it usually did. He was likely trying to pretend he wasn’t stressed out about the situation as well. Eventually his breathing evened out and he stopped fidgeting. I knew the sound of Jameson’s sleep breathing, but I still couldn’t fall asleep myself.

After another hour or so of lying there, trying not to move too much and wake Jameson, I sneaked out of bed. The door creaked when I opened it, but he didn’t stir, so I kept going, closing it as softly as I could behind me.

I needed air, feeling restless and edgy.

The lights were all off as I quietly worked my way down the stairs, hoping I didn’t fall and bust my ass. I turned and headed for the kitchen, when I noticed a dim glow shining from the patio.

It was Leon, in the backyard, with his laptop.

Shit. Backing up, I made it about two feet, when he glanced my way and saw me. I seriously considered making a run for it, but decided against it at the last minute. I opened the screen door and stepped out as he said, “Busted.”

“You or me?” I asked.

“Both. I’m not supposed to be working this weekend. Insomnia and workaholic tendencies make for a bad pair.” He nodded toward the chair beside him at the table. “Sit down, son.”

I did, and my right leg immediately began bouncing with nerves.

“I’m going to tell you a story.”

“Okay.”

“I don’t know how much Jameson told you, but I didn’t have the best upbringing. My mom got lost to drugs and took off. My dad stayed, and he tried, but he had problems with addiction too. We were poor and went without, and by society’s standards, I didn’t stand a chance.”

“I don’t think anything can hold you back, Leon,” I said truthfully.

“Thanks, but I’m just human like the rest of us. I feel similar with you, though. We might not have the same story, but you’re a fighter and you work your ass off. I wanted more, and I damn sure was going to get it. I wanted to succeed, to make something of myself, and to be for my family what my parents couldn’t be for me. I’d already met Brianna. It was love at first sight. I would have done anything to prove I deserved her.”