“Uh, yeah. Danny brought me.”
“Their burgers are incredible.” He looked to the hostess. “Two, please.”
She led us to our table and, wouldn’t you know, I saw the waiter from the other night. He was with another customer but smiled when he saw me. The nerves inside me popped and sizzled in an uncomfortable way.
We sat down across from each other, and she handed us menus and left.
Adrian approached our table. “Fancy seeing you here again.”
“Good food,” I replied, then added, “This is my friend Mark.” The second I said it, I considered slamming my head into the table a few times to knock some sense into myself. Why did I just introduce a waiter I didn’t know to Mark? It was such a ridiculous thing to do.
Mark grinned. “Hello.”
“Well, I know his name and not yours now,” Adrian said.
Because he was a waiter and not my buddy and I was losing my shit. “Jonathan. I’d like a beer.” I chose the same one I had before. Mark got one as well, and then Adrian disappeared.
“Hey,” Mark said, and I looked at him. He reached over and put a hand on mine. “You don’t have to be nervous. It’s just a date.”
At least now I knew it was truly a date. “I feel stupid.”
“Don’t. Happens to the best of us. And hell, if we only end up being friends, the twink is interested in you.”
“You noticed it right away too? Danny said the same thing last time.” Apparently shit like that was obvious to everyone except me.
“Are you two close?”
“We haven’t really known each other that long.” Which wasn’t an answer, but I didn’t know how to give him one. Danny and I had a relationship I couldn’t make sense of myself. I talked to him in ways I didn’t with anyone else, and he got me to do things no one else did, even if it was just being on a gay baseball team. He made me laugh, I looked forward to seeing him, and I trusted his opinion. In the short time since I’d moved in with him, I already trusted Danny more than I did most people, maybe anyone. It was confusing.
Mark didn’t press me for more. We browsed the menu for a minute and chose what we wanted to eat. When Adrian came back, he brought our beers, took our orders, and then was on his way. It was busier than it had been the first night I came here.
Mark held his glass up. “To new friendships and possibilities.”
“To new friendships and possibilities.” I clanked my glass with his, and we drank.
“So…baseball. What made you join the team?”
“It was Danny’s idea. He calls me a baby gay, which is strange as fuck. He’s decided to take me under his wing, said we have to do something new each week. Not sure how that’s going to go. We didn’t last week, and baseball was the first one.”
Mark snickered, though I didn’t exactly know why. “So yep, you guys are close.”
“Yeah, I guess so.” Which suddenly felt really obvious to me. Why didn’t I just say that from the beginning? Who cared how long I’d known him? “What do you like to do for fun?” I asked, trying to keep the conversation going the way Mark was.
We talked for a while. We had a lot in common, had similar fathers and experiences growing up. Not that his dad had caught him, but he had expectations of Mark similar to those my dad had. He’d known when he was younger that it wouldn’t be okay for him to be gay. But unlike me, Mark came out at nineteen. He was forty now, and he’d had many hard years with his dad, but they were in a good place. They were closer than ever. It made me wonder about my own. If he hadn’t died, would he have eventually accepted me and appreciated me exactly how I was?
Our food came, and we ate while learning more about each other. We were both good with our hands, spent most of our life building things. Mark had broken up with his boyfriend ten months before. They’d been together for five years.
“Damn. I can’t imagine.”
“Did you have any long-term relationships with women?” he asked, which I figured was because he knew I’d tried to hide who I was.
“No. I mean, a few months here and there, but I couldn’t do it.”
“I like being committed. It’s always my endgame. Don’t get me wrong, I have my share of hookups, but I like the thought of being with one person and coming home to him every night.”
“I don’t even know what I want.” I did enjoy coming home to Danny every day, but that wasn’t what Mark meant.
“You’re young. You don’t have to.” His response made me laugh. Mark cocked a brow. “What?”