Messy Love (Stumbling into Love 3)

And yeah, back to the really liking Jonathan thing. I did. Too much. And that scared the fuck out of me because what if he hurt me? What if he saw me as just a fuck like Garrett did, like I saw most guys, and then I had to deal with losing him?

Elijah was right. It would make things difficult. Messy.

So I told myself I’d made the right decision. That Jonathan and I could just be friends, even though my cock wasn’t real fond of that idea. Maybe some other parts of me too, specifically in the chest region, but I didn’t want to think about that.

I jerked off, tried to go to sleep but didn’t get much. All I saw when I closed my eyes was the dejected look he’d given me.

Before I knew it, my alarm was going off.

Our game today was about an hour’s drive away. Since everyone had found out about baseball, they’d all planned to drive out and support us. I knew Jonathan was a little nervous about it, but he’d said he was okay with it. Still, after last night, it would be one more thing that made today stand out. We were going to be around our friends for the first time since becoming roommates, and playing baseball, and having kissed.

Great. Now I was thinking about the kiss again…and Jonathan. I seemed to always be thinking about Jonathan.

I took a quick leak, then made my way into the kitchen to start the coffee. I thought I’d make it out before he did, since I set my alarm for a little earlier, but he was heading out of the kitchen when I arrived.

Wearing shorts.

I missed the underwear view.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hey.”

“I don’t want this to be weird.” We literally said the exact same thing at the same time, then cracked up laughing. God, why did things feel like they just fit with him? So natural, as if we’d been friends for years.

“Does this mean you don’t want me to look at you anymore?” I pointed to the shorts.

“No. I was just… Fuck, man. I don’t know. I just don’t want to make things awkward. This is… You are… I need this.”

My thoughts suddenly felt echoey, and my pulse ran much took quickly. It felt good to be wanted, to be needed by him. “I do too,” I admitted. I didn’t just like Jonathan; a part of me needed him too. Outside of my family and Elijah, had I ever needed anyone before?

Jonathan frowned as if he hadn’t expected that, and he probably hadn’t. Our situations weren’t the same, and we’d made all these plans… Did he know how much spending time with him had already begun to mean to me?

“So, two home runs?” I added.

“I thought it was three?”

“You said that was too many.”

Jonathan winked. “Eh, I like to keep you on your toes.”

I wasn’t sure he realized exactly how much he really did that.

Our friends didn’t shut up basically the whole game. Elijah had brought Brooklyn, and Jameson brought his two best friends, Kira and Ali. We had our own cheering section, and while I ate that shit up, Jonathan was clearly a little thrown by it. At first he seemed perplexed, then embarrassed, then would smile at them and roll his eyes.

It was the ninth inning now, two outs, a man on first and second, with our opponents at bat. We were ahead by three runs.

My gaze held fast on the batter. When the ball was pitched, he swung, and it came straight for me. I made the catch and got the last out.

Our friends’ voices erupted in the stands, much higher than anyone else’s, but I didn’t respond. All I did was seek out Jonathan. I ran toward him, where he and Mark were talking. He noticed me out of the corner of his eye, and his lips stretched from ear to ear. Damn, that was a nice view.

“I won, motherfucker!” I teased. He shoved a hand over my face and pretended to ignore me while still chatting with Mark.

“I think we all won,” Mark said.

I swatted Jonathan’s hand away. “We had a bet. He was supposed to get three home runs, only he got…how many was it? Oh, zero. And I got one. He’s on dish duty.”

Mark laughed at us, while Jonathan wrapped an arm around me, trying to put his hand over my mouth to shut me up. “He’s a liar, man. Don’t listen to him.” I pressed my tongue out, and he jerked back. “Ew. You licked me.”

“Yummy. Nothing like sweat and dirt!”

Coach called us over, and we gave our congrats to the other team, before packing up our shit. We changed out of our cleats, Mark nodding toward the stands, where our friends waited. “Got a whole group of cheerleaders, huh?”