“Yeah, sure, whatever.”
“I’m serious, E.”
“I said sure.”
“But it’s how you said it.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He grinned at me, then left me in the bathroom. As soon as the door closed, I leaned against the wall.
I was so fucked.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Jonathan
Danny had been quiet in the truck on our ride home from the game. Something had gone down with him and Elijah in the bathroom, but I had no idea what it was. Sometimes I was so confused by the closeness of their relationship. Jealousy poked and prodded at me often when I saw them together, how affectionate they were and how well they knew each other. It was obvious there was no reason to be jealous. Shaw wasn’t, and the two of them were serious. But for me, it made me feel like what Danny and I had wasn’t anything special.
Holding my hand or putting his head in my lap was something he would do with anyone he was friends with. While that shouldn’t bother me, it sure as fuck did. I wanted to be different with him, and that made me want to punch myself in the face.
It was Monday now. Danny was at work, but I was off. Will had messaged me and asked if I wanted to meet up and take a walk along the greenway by their place when he got off work.
I met him at his condo at half past five. I didn’t see Jameson. Will came right out, and we started our walk immediately. I figured he was going to try and talk with me about something, and honestly, I wasn’t real excited about it, but I was trying to turn over a new leaf and all.
“Do you think you’re going to tell Mom, Brad, and Nolan about baseball? I bet they’d love to go to one of your games.”
Ah, hell. That was what he wanted to talk about? I had a feeling it was going to be about Danny. “I don’t know. Mom will like it. Brad and Nolan will think it’s weird.”
“Because it’s a queer team?”
I just looked over at him because he knew the answer to that.
Will continued, “That’s on them, then. Does it matter what they think?”
“No, it doesn’t. I’m here, aren’t I? I’m doing this. Might have taken me thirty-two fucking years, but I’m doing it.”
“Yeah, you are. I’m proud of you, big brother.” He nudged my arm, pride swelling inside me. Maybe it was a silly reaction, to feel that way because of my baby brother, but I did. Strange as it sounded, I looked up to Will.
“Thanks. I appreciate that.”
“I think you should invite them, though. It would be good for you guys—good for all of us. We’re not the closest family.”
“You can say that again.” Jameson was really close to his. Will spent a lot of time with them. Even though Danny didn’t see his as often, they talked on the phone every couple of days, and I knew that the lack of spending time together was mostly because of baseball.
“I don’t want you to lose Nolan and Brad,” he admitted.
“You’re not close to them.”
“No, but I never was. You were. I know it has to bother you.”
I rubbed a hand over my face. “They act different with me. It’ll blow over. Right now, I’m just trying to figure out my own shit.”
We kept walking. Will was quiet for a moment, then said, “You’re about to be really annoyed with me, but I can’t keep my mouth shut.”
“Here we go.” This was what I expected. I knew what he was going to say before he said it.
“I noticed some…something between you and Danny.”
“We’re friends.” Which was true.
“You know it’s okay if you wanted to be more. I know you’ve never…”
Dated a guy? Had a boyfriend? Saw a guy more than once? All of the above fit. “Oh God. This is too uncomfortable. I can’t do this. I’m getting advice about dating from my baby brother.”
“Because you’ve never dated a guy before. Having sex isn’t the same as dating, and if you wanted to…date him, you should. Just make sure you’re on the same page with what you want because—”
I stuck an index finger in each ear. “Lalalalalalala.”
Will laughed. “You dork. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I won’t. I’m fine.”
“You guys are cute together.”
Jesus Christ. I was going to kill him. “We’re not together.”
“You act like it. Let me get you a drink…oh, do you want chicken wings…please pretend you don’t notice me staring at you across the table like I’m totally gone for you.”
“He was?” fell out of my mouth before I could hold it back. “Or did you mean me?” Had I been watching him like that?
Will laughed. “Nope. You don’t like Danny at all. I don’t know what I was thinking.”