What happened to him to cause him to feel this way? I know I shouldn't, but I decide to ask him anyways. Not only am I curious, my heart goes out to him. Everyone has another half out there and deserves a chance at love.
Before the check arrives, I gather my courage and blurt: "What did you mean earlier? Why don't you believe in love anymore?"
He freezes for a moment, then sighs deeply. He surprises me by suddenly ordering another bottle of wine. Our glasses are refilled. He takes a long sip before he starts talking.
"It all started with my high school sweetheart. She was my first love,” he begins, "We were inseparable and deeply in love. We even went away to college together. Those years of us being alone together were magical. It was like our life had already started.”
The bitter scowl turning down the corners of Gabriel’s lips tells me things were not so sunny for long, but I stay silent and listen.
“I remember it was two weeks before our college graduation. I’d had this idea in my head for a long time already, but it felt like now was the perfect moment. I was so sure I wanted to be with her forever. There was no other woman for me, so I decided to propose to her on the night of our graduation. I thought it would be the perfect way to start our future together. I had the ring and everything. I was so excited, and I couldn’t wait, I had to tell somebody. So I decided to stop by my best friend’s dorm… " he stops talking long enough to sip his wine.
I have a sneaking suspicion I know where this is going, and my stomach roils with dread.
"I get to his dorm room, and I knock and walk in. That’s just how we were, we barged into each other’s places all the time. Besides, he never locked his door.”
He takes another sip of wine, clearly steeling himself for the next part of the story. “I walked in on them together. Naked. I'll never forget that. I don't even know if they tried to apologize, I just turned and walked away. That image of them together is forever burned in my memory."
He's staring past me as he speaks, draining the glass of wine when he finishes.
I realize I'm crying and hurry to wipe my eyes, embarrassed. My heart breaks for him after hearing his story. "I know what it’s like to be cheated on. It's happened to me twice," I find myself saying.
He looks at me in shock. "Really?"
So I continue talking. "But it wasn't that big of a deal. Neither relationship was serious. And it wasn’t my best friend, either, I can’t imagine that kind of betrayal on top of everything else," I feel a little embarrassed saying these things, but the way he is looking at me urges me to keep talking.
"I’ve dated and had relationships before, but it was never really serious, like I said. Maybe that's why they never worked out. I have no idea. I'm even still friends with one of my exes. I recently helped him plan his wedding to his new boyfriend." I reply with a sheepish little laugh.
His jaw drops and he pours us one more glass of wine. We both take a sip. I can see that he is trying to process our entire conversation. "How can you still be so optimistic after that, though?” he asks incredulously.
I smile to myself as I answer. "I saw so much love growing up. How could I not believe in it? My grandfather died before I was born, but the way my grandmother talked about him made it pretty clear he was her soulmate. And my parents were inseparable. Maybe it’s wishful thinking or silly, but I honestly believe that there is someone out there for everyone."
The waiter walks by with our check, bringing an end to our conversation. "Shall we?" Gabriel asks me as he pays the check.
He opens the door for me again as we walk out of the restaurant. He's quiet again, but I'm happy that I have gotten to know a little more about him. As we are walking to his car, I realize I don't want the night to end. Before we reach the car I ask, "Do you mind if we take a little detour?"
We stop walking and he looks at me, an eyebrow lifted in surprise. "Sure, what do you have in mind?"
"I know a little garden down the street from here where we can keep walking," I suggest.
He nods and we turn and walk in the opposite direction on the sidewalk. A little thrill races through me. I’m surprised that I decided to be bold like this, but I couldn't stop myself. I like spending time with him, despite how intimidating he may seem. I know that might sound silly, but it makes tonight seem a little more exciting.