I don't know how long I sit there. Eventually my sobs turn to quiet hiccups. My eyes burn from all the tears. Eventually I’m able to stop crying, and finally I turn on the ignition and drive home. Even though I'm not crying anymore, it didn't change the turmoil raging in my chest.
I can't believe I let my guard down like that. I assumed it would be ok because of the way he was opening up to me. I mean, I met him at an auction, I should have expected him to do this type of thing. But last night just seemed like…more.
When I get home, I walk inside and make my way to the bathroom. I turn the water on and leave it to heat up while I go into my bedroom to put my purse and shoes down. I strip off my dress and find myself staring at it for a long moment before I put it into the hamper.
All those happy memories attached to it, but now every time I look at this dress, I know last night will be the only memory that comes to the surface, and part of me hates him a little bit for ruining it for me.
I strip down the rest of the way and head back into the bathroom. Once the water is steamy hot I step inside, pulling the curtain closed behind me.
I just want to relax and feel better. It can be a real pain having emotions at times, but that's what makes us people, I guess. But I’m just so sick of hurting. I stay in the shower as long as possible, soaking up all the steam and warmth until my fingers and toes are pruny and wrinkled. Afterwards, I pull on a robe and settle on the couch, putting on an old favorite movie of my grandfather’s.
I did what I set out to do. Now I just have to figure out how to deal with the aftermath.
Chapter 15 - Dominic
It has been a few days since the auction and I still feel like shit. I can't believe I just ghosted Juliette like that. She probably thinks I'm such a dick for running out on her like that. Not that I’d made such a great impression before that.
I sigh and stare out the window of my office. It looks like I'm daydreaming, maybe I am. Ever since that night I haven't been able to stop thinking about her, my raven-haired beauty. It's almost like she turned my whole world upside down.
Our night together was great, but when I woke up the next morning and saw her laying there splayed across my bed with the morning sun glowing lovely against her pale skin, I felt a stirring of feelings that I never felt before. I didn't think it was possible to feel those things.
I spent all my life without anything like that happening. I thought I was one of those people that was so well guarded, I was practically immune to stuff like this. I guess I was wrong. I feel like I'm going to go crazy trying to figure it out.
I will admit now that it honestly scared me shitless, to feel like that. so like a little coward I ran off and hid from them instead of dealing with everything. I have tried so hard these past few days to forget everything. I've thrown myself into my work, never leaving my office.
I can't even eat because everything tastes like dirt. I can't sleep, think or concentrate. Its maddening. It's like my entire life has come to a complete standstill and I can't do anything about it. How could one night have turned into something like this? It's crazy. It just came out of nowhere and hit me like a fucking freight train.
The phone rings pulling me from my reverie. I grab it and answer it. "Yeah?" I try to control my emotions.
"Hey, Dom…." Kevin says. "I was wondering if you have seen these files I need for work? I think I left them in your office, but-" He starts to ask, but I interrupt him by snapping at him.
"No, I haven't seen your damn files. Keep better track of your stuff and maybe this wouldn't happen."
My words shock Kevin into silence for a moment. "What the hell is your problem? I thought you'd be better by now, ditch the giant pole up your ass. Didn't you go home with that brunette chick from the auction?"
I sigh, I can confide in him because he's my friend. "Yes. We had a great night,” I admit, “Amazing. But I did something horrible and now I feel like a dick."
I tell him the whole story about our night together, including how nice Juliette had been and just how much she’d gotten to me. "And then the next morning I ghosted her. Just up and left,” I finish.