‘Yes,’ I admitted. His hand slipped under my buttocks and he pushed a finger into the parting.
‘You know what you’re getting soon, don’t you?’
‘Uh huh.’ I gulped.
‘What’s the missing word?’ He twisted his finger a little, pushing it down.
‘Sir,’ I said obediently.
‘Would you like to be her?’
The woman had removed the vibrator, turned the submissive over and was paddling her already very sore-looking bottom with a will while the man held her shoulders down.
‘She must be beside herself by now,’ I said.
‘She’s deep into subspace,’ said Joss. ‘Have you ever been there?’
‘I’m not sure. I’ve heard of it, but I don’t really get what it is.’
‘You’re past the point where pain has any meaning. You become your submission, your submission becomes you. You only want more.’
‘I can’t imagine that.’
‘No, but you might experience it. One day.’
I shifted on his hard, tight crotch, feeling it squash against my pussy. All the fingers of one hand were now firmly planted between my bottom cheeks, wriggling and probing. I was grinding my hips, almost unconsciously, wanting to open and spread myself and get him inside me. I moved my face against his, trying to trick his tongue inside my mouth again.
He teased me, his lips touching mine as he spoke, but never satisfying me with the kiss I craved.
‘I can’t wait much longer, Lu. All I can think of is how tight you’re going to be … oh, Lord. Get up. There’s a free bed over there.’
His inquisitive hands wriggled out of their exploring places and were clapped instead on my shoulders. He pushed me to my feet, rose behind me and steered me to his distant destination, a swagged four-poster bed in the far corner of the room.
Our pace was so brisk – almost running – that we attracted a bit of attention en route, and a few curious players followed us and gathered round the bed in expectation of a show.
But Joss, after thrusting me on to the extravagant silk paisley-patterned throw, drew the curtains tight around us. There were mutters of disappointment. I bent to inspect the throw for signs of recent use, but it looked and smelled fresh enough.
‘Don’t worry. They do change the bedding,’ Joss reassured me with a smile. ‘Now lie down on your front and let me have my wicked way.’
I did as he instructed, feeling lightheaded and dreamy. It was comfortable, in a way, to have all agency removed. It made everything so easy …
Behind me, I heard noises indicating the removal of the leather trousers – apparently this brought a feeling of intense liberation, if his long sigh was anything to go by.
His next move was a treat for me: a loosening of the stay laces of my corset.
‘Ahhh, oh, that’s nice,’ I said, then giggled, wondering if anyone was left listening outside the curtain and, if so, what they thought I might be talking about.
‘Restraint and confinement are good things for submissives,’ said Joss, his fingers dancing lightly between my shoulder blades. ‘But this first time, I think you should feel as relaxed as possible.’
I tried not to let this thought tense me, but it did. I knew it would hurt, probably worse than the butt plugs we had been practising with, but I was prepared for it and I wanted to acquit myself with honour.
He straddled me, just south of my hips, and reached above my head for one of the pillows. This he slid beneath my stomach, elevating my behind, but not enough, it seemed, for he added another to raise me still higher.
Then from the basket he took a bottle of what I assumed was lubricant and opened it. The spanking had been a long time ago now, so my skin was no longer heated or even vaguely warm. The lubricant, though, had a kind of spicy, peppery smell and I felt slightly alarmed before he began to slather it over my cheeks.
Very soon it imparted a slow-building tingle to my vulnerable rounds, piquant at first, then spreading into a tissue-deep burn, as if he had paddled me quite hard.
‘What is this?’ I gasped. ‘I thought it was lubricant. God. It’s hot.’