Under His Influence

“You aren’t jealous?” He sounded baffled.

“Why would I be? You are nothing to me. Shag who you like. Just leave me out of it.”

But it didn’t sound convincing, even to Mimi herself.

“But you want me. You must want me.”

“John, I explained this. You have bits missing. Vital bits. Without the capacity to feel certain natural human emotions, you can’t be good for me.”

John snatched up a robe and slipped it on, as if embarrassed by his nudity.

“What natural human emotions?” He pinched his lips together. “Give me an idea.”

“We talked about unselfish love, remember? Wanting to give to your lover without taking. Wanting to make them happy purely for the joy of it.”

Gnawing at a knuckle, John sank down on to the sofa.

“Is this an innate thing? Can it be learned?”

Mimi raised an eyebrow.

“You would want to learn?”

“Why not? If it gets me what I want.”

She sighed exasperatedly and sat down on the far end of the enormous settee.

“You just don’t get it! It has to be for its own sake. Let me think of some examples. Say I come home after a hard day at work and you run me a bath. You would be doing it because you thought it might lead to sex. The man I want would be doing it because he truly felt it would help me to relax and unwind after my busy day.”

John shook his head. “That man doesn’t exist. All men would do it in the hope of sex.”

Mimi shrugged. “Okay. Maybe. But let’s say the hope for sex might lurk a little way behind his wish to make me feel good.”

“Sex makes you feel good.”

“Christ, just…rein yourself in, will you?”

“I can’t. I want you. You’re there, in that dress, close enough for me to smell you. I could reach out and—”

“Stop.” Mimi stood up, still a little befuddled. “I’m going to bed. Now. Before this goes wrong.”

Across town, Anna lay facedown on Liam’s sofa, sobbing every ounce of heartbreak into its brown velour cushion covering.

Liam hovered on hand, wondering whether to speak, whether to offer her something, whether to…touch her.

“Fuck off!” he rasped under his breath.

Anna looked up, shocked, through red-rimmed eyes.

“No, not you. Was talking to my flatmate. I told him to go out for a few hours. Didn’t I, Kaden? So can you get lost now, please?” He raised his voice for the benefit of the beanie-hatted slacker in the hallway, then lowered it again, looking straight into Anna’s eyes. “But you can stay as long as you like. Seriously. As long as you like.”

Anna swallowed, leaning back against the sofa, gazing hopelessly upward.

“I’ve no idea what to do,” she told the light fitting. “It’s like my life is over.”

“Oh, it isn’t,” said Liam, fighting a feeling of helplessness. “I’ve got half a bottle of Jack Daniels in the cupboard. D’you fancy some?”

“I’m pregnant, Liam.”