“I’m not,” she said quickly. She bit into the bar again, thinking about her next conversational move. “You’re just a plaything of the gods today, aren’t you? First your bad little ensign makes you do things, then the temple stone. Poor Commander Paul. It must be terrible, being so coerced all the time.”
Paul finished the final bite of his bar, scrunching up the biodegradable wrapper and discar
ding it in a neighbouring bush.
“You think I don’t want to take responsibility for all this?” he said. “I accept it, Suka. I accept full responsibility. When I chose you to come down here, I thought you could handle it. I made a bad call. It won’t happen again.”
Suka felt as if he had kicked her in her already tender crotch. The almost-irresistible urge to scream Fuck you! swept over her and she held her fists tightly clenched and counted to five while it passed.
“What exactly have I done that was so wrong?” she asked, fighting to keep her voice level.
“You’re taking everything personally,” said Paul. “You seem to be blaming me for all this. You’re disrespectful and sullen now. Why?”
Suka turned her face away. “Because I made a mistake,” she muttered. “I thought you…”
She couldn’t finish the sentence.
Paul took a quick breath. “Thought I what?” he said, also looking away.
“Thought it meant something. Hoped it meant something.”
He reached for her hand and took it, fidgeting with her fingers restlessly.
“You still think that? Now we’re outside the temple?”
“What should I think, Commander? We had intense, passionate sex. It felt like a real connection to me. You’re acting as if it was just a trick of the stone.”
Paul was quiet for a moment. The long fronds of the abandoned plants blew and shushed in the soft breezes. Suka tried to tune out, to just enjoy the feel of real weather and unrecycled air. Screw Paul and his ethical hang-ups.
“It doesn’t matter whether it was a trick of the stone or not,” he said quietly. “We can’t pursue this. You know that.”
“Because of intergalactic protocol?”
“Yes. Of course because of intergalactic protocol.”
“Because it’s the rules.”
“Suka—”
“And the rules always rule. Right up there before humanity, or common sense, or love. Rules.”
“You knew that, Suka, you’ve always known it.”
“Yes, but that was before I knew I…” She stopped herself just in time. “Before I knew how I felt. About you.”
Paul squeezed her fingers. “Suka, you’ve had a very powerful sexual experience. That can affect your reasoning—”
“Don’t you dare patronise me, Commander. And don’t you dare tell me how I feel.”
Commander Paul hauled her to her feet.
“Okay, enough,” he said. “You’re going back up to the ship. I’ll complete this mission alone.” He moved to take his communicator from his belt, but drew the whip instead, having forgotten he had placed it there.
This gave Suka enough time to slip free of his grasp and race out of his reach.
“I’m not going back,” she called from behind a huge flowering shrub. “You’ll have to catch me first.”
“Ensign!” he roared, but she was away, picking out the remnants of the path beneath the drying reeds and leaves, sure of only one thing, which was that this adventure was not ending yet. Not until she had made Commander Paul realise exactly how significant the emotional exchange between them had been.