‘You’ve gone terribly pale,’ she said, raising a solicitous hand to his brow. ‘As if all that good sexing has drained the life from you.’
‘I’m sorry, I have to … Do you mind if I use your shower?’
‘Not at all. It’s through that door.’
He sat in the cubicle and let scalding hot water stream on to him until his skin was lobster red. The heat only seemed to harden his cock even more, though, and he saw no alternative than to kill it with masturbation. His seed splashed on to the ceramic tray, mingling with the steam and water, disappearing down the plughole.
He crouched on the floor and wept.
When the time came to switch off, he found he couldn’t stand. He felt sick and his vision grew darker and darker until all was black.
When he came to, he was still in the shower, though Julia had switched off the water and stood over him in a bathrobe, her face tight with concern.
‘Why on earth did you have it so hot?’ she scolded. ‘I’m surprised you didn’t blister your skin. You silly, silly boy. Come on. Can you stand up now?’
She helped him to his feet and back to the bed, on which he collapsed.
She brought him a glass of water and some biscuits.
‘Get your strength back. I’m not surprised you were feeling a bit – sapped.’
‘What am I going to do?’
He sipped at the water, turning tragic eyes to Julia.
She kissed his cheek.
‘Do what you want to do, Adam. Have you ever done that?’
He shook his head. ‘I mean, about Evie. I’m sorry, Julia. I like you very much, so very much, but I can’t bear to see Evie with all those other men any more … I just can’t. I worry I’m going to lose control and kill them.’
Julia sighed and fidgeted with the belt of her robe.
‘You know, my advice would be to stay away from her. But I don’t suppose for one moment you’ll be able to do that. Perhaps if I spoke to her …’
‘She doesn’t listen to anyone.’
‘Yes, she does. I know she does. Listen, Adam, leave it with me. Give yourself a break and try not to see her for a few days. You need some time to wind down, I think, or you’re going to give yourself a stroke. And not the right kind of stroke either.’
She winked at him, but he was too doleful to brighten up.
He knew he was on the edge now, close to being consumed by his obsessions. Somebody had to save him and, for the first time he could remember, he didn’t think he could put that faith in God.
Chapter Thirteen
EVIE’S FEET WERE bare and her hair streamed out behind her as she ran along the path to Palmers Barn. Sultry June had turned to scorching July and the grass verges were slowly changing from lush green to yellowish and tickly.
When John emerged from the well at her summoning, he was on magnificent form, looking hale and hearty as a spirit could.
‘You performed the sporting rite?’ he said. ‘I know you must have done. I am closer than ever to my flesh.’
‘Yes, I did it. All was well. But, John, I still fear for the vicar.’
‘Why?’
‘It’s happening too fast, too soon. And the Shields woman has warned me.’
‘Warned you of what?’