“His results.” She handed the envelope to me and folded her arms. “It’s still sealed. I ain’t need to open it. Jr knows damn well that’s his son.”
“Mama,” he cried.
“Look, I have to go,” Kim said. “My problem’s not with you. Just give Jr the results and tell him he needs to take care of his fucking responsibilities. We ain’t going nowhere. This boy needs to know his family. He’s a Cash.”
“I’ll give this to him. You just leave,” I said. Kim rolled her eyes and walked toward the car. “And don’t you worry,” I looked at the boy’s face, “if he’s a Cash, we’ll know him soon enough.”
After watching Kim pull away in the car to make sure she’d actually left, I walked into the house with the envelope in my hand.
“What’s that?” May asked, standing right inside the door.
“Just a note,” I lied. I’d already decided to keep the envelope to myself until after dinner. Then I’d give it to Jr.
“I already saw her, Journey. It’s the results.”
“She asked me to give it to Jr.”
May put out her hand.
“May, I think it’s best he looks first and then you two talk.... I don’t want to get in the middle of it.”
“You already are,” she said. Her hand was still extended. “Just give it to me.”
“May, just promise you’ll wait until after dinner. Justin just came home and this is supposed to be a celebration. You know—”
“Give it to me!” May’s voice splintered with an anger and sadness that broke me. I handed her the envelope.
Outside, everywhere was brightness. My mother was telling some story about how when we were younger, Jr almost put Justin’s eye out with a firecracker. Justin cried for three days and couldn’t hear in his left ear. Everyone was laughing—my parents, Jr, Justin, and even Nana Jessie. Everyone but me and May. Sitting right across from each other, we avoided eye contact and every time she went to whisper to Jr, I was sure she was about to say something about the little envelope. After she took it, she ran to the bathroom and didn’t come out until it was time to eat, so I was sure she knew the results. And while everyone was laughing, there still seemed to be an ominous air hovering over the picnic table we shared. I could see the smoke from the grill drifting by, but I knew there was more than a promise of barbecue. Something wicked was on its way.
“Well, family,” Justin started as everyone tried to recall a part of the firecracker story.
“No,” I said, tugging at his pants leg. He was sitting next to me, and I didn’t want him to share his secret. I knew now wasn’t the time.
“What?” he said to me.
“Just don’t do it now,” I murmured. “Let’s wait. Now isn’t the time.”
“But what about what you said in the car?” he whispered. “I’m tired of hiding.”
“Just wait,” I demanded.
“What’s that, Journey?” my father called from the head of the table, stroking his new beard.
“Nothing. I was just telling Justin how happy I am that he’s home with us.” I smiled.
Everyone smiled and Nana Jessie, who was seated on the other side of Justin, kissed him on the cheek.
“Thanks, Nana,” Justin said to her. “I hope everyone will still feel that way, because I have an announcement.”
I grabbed Justin’s arm, but he just brushed me off with a resolute stare.
“This is really hard for me, everyone, but it’s time for me to stop lying to you about who I am,” Justin said, pushing himself up in his seat to command everyone’s attention. I shifted away from him to the other side of my chair and rested my face in the palm of my hand.
“No, Journey, don’t be scared.” He tapped my shoulder.
“Scared of what?” my father asked, straightening up in his seat, too. Like everyone else at the table, he seemed to know what Justin was about to reveal. “What do you have to say, boy?”
“No, Jethro,” my mother said from her end of the table beside Nana Jessie. “You won’t intimidate him. Go ahead, baby. You tell us. But before you say anything, I just want you to know I already know and I love you. I’m willing to accept that you’re gay.”