Under the Bali Moon

“What? What’s wrong?” Zena asked. “Is it something I said? Because I’m just telling the truth. I’m not trying to hurt you. It’s for your own good—”

“No,” Zola cut in. “It’s not you. It’s me. It’s about what I haven’t told you.” She looked off at the sunlight coming through the window and exhaled. “There’s a reason Alton was nervous about me getting on the surfboard. It was ridiculous that he thought it would have any impact, but I know why he was scared. He was just looking out for me.”

“What are you talking about? Why was he scared?”

Zola looked at Zena.

“I had a miscarriage,” Zola said, the sad words slipping out of her mouth just one per second.

“What? When?” Zena placed her hand on Zola’s knee.

“A few days before graduation. I was just so stressed and worried about everything and I woke up one morning and...” She paused and looked into Zena’s eyes. “I lost my baby.”

“Did you know you were pregnant?”

“I suspected. But I didn’t even have any time to take the test. I think I was scared to know. I was terrified to know, because it meant everything was about to change. Everything I wanted was gone,” Zola said.

“That’s not true. And why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you call me or something?” Zena asked.

“The last thing you said to me before you left DC my first year of law school was that I shouldn’t get pregnant,” Zola said. “And there I was—pregnant.”

“You should’ve told me, Zola. I would’ve been there for you.”

“The funny thing is when I was at the hospital and I realized there was no way Alton could get to me, the only other person I wanted to call was you, but I just couldn’t. It would be like I was letting myself down by just saying it to you. So, I called the next best person.”

“Mommy?”

“No, Z. I called Adan.”

“What?”

“He actually left his job in New York and flew to DC. Six hours after I called, he was by my side.”

Zena jumped up from the bed and began pacing.

“You should’ve called me,” she protested.

“You’re not listening.”

“I am listening. And I’m telling you that you should’ve called me and not Adan!” Zena turned to Zola.

“No, you’re not listening. I’m trying to tell you something.”

“Tell me what?”

“Adan has always been there for me. He visited me in DC more than you. More than anyone else—other than Alton,” Zola revealed. “And when it was clear I needed help, like more help just to get through graduation, he paid for me to go to therapy. He was at my graduation, too. He sat alone, though...because he knew you’d be upset if you knew he was there. But he said he couldn’t stay away. He knew I needed him there.”

Zola got off the bed and went to stand before Zena.

“That’s what this wedding is about. Why Adan is supporting it. It has nothing to do with Alton. It’s about me. About me getting better,” Zola said.

“So you’ve been communicating with him all this time and not telling me?” Zena asked.

> “We all have. Me. Mommy. Malak. We just don’t tell you because we know how you’ll get. We know how you get about him,” Zola said. “I mean, you didn’t even go to Mrs. Pam’s funeral because he’d be there. After all she did for us, you—”

“I couldn’t!” Zena shouted, cutting Zola off.

“I know. And I understand. Going through this, I completely understand how hard it can be to move on sometimes,” Zola said. “And maybe it’s time for you to admit to yourself that you haven’t.”