His Last Wife

“Please don’t go,” Baba Seti begged, chasing behind them as Val walked Kerry to the door.

But Ernest and all of his size jumped between him and the women. “Don’t,” Ernest said definitively. “You don’t want to do that.”

Back in the Beetle with Yuxnier, there were no I-told-you-so’s. Mostly silence and comforting.

It was like the ride in Jamison’s funeral car Kerry never got to take because she was in jail. While there was no rain outside, inside, she was in a storm. She leaned her head against the window and poured her soul into the tough work of accepting what she’d already always known. What she didn’t want to admit. What had kept her searching and sad. She needed to say good-bye.

Chapter 15

Between night and morning, the sun was busy beginning the complicated work of creating a horizon. Kerry was awake. Maybe she hadn’t even gone to sleep. She was standing by the window looking out at the spectrum of color in the sky that was emanating from a sun she couldn’t yet see, but knew was there. It was tucked away beneath the darkness that was becoming too weak to keep it below for much longer. It occurred to her then of how particularly peculiar it was that people rose to watch the sun rise. It was never a surprise. It was never a maybe. Just like the night sky, the sun’s sky was a sure a thing. There was always light. Even when it seemed impossible, it would come. Even if she was looking away. Even if she had her eyes closed or forget to get up just to see it. The light would be there.

She considered how many times she’d watched the sunrise with Jamison. It was always some romantic feeling they had that they were seeing something special. Together. Her back against his chest. They were naked, standing in a window just like the one in her room in Cuba. Peeking out. Pretending this was a special show. One that no one else in the world would see. They were front row to be witnesses of a new day.

Kerry knew she had to accept that this would be no more. She’d never feel that intimate expectation with that man again. Jamison was gone. And for that, her heart ached in darkness. She felt that. She knew that was real. Just as real as the night. Just as real as the blackness at the top of the sky. But, there somewhere in view, beneath black turned blue turned purple turned lavender turned pink, if she peeked and squinted, maybe she could see just the tip of a bright white yellow on its way up.

She could watch that alone. She could see that alone every day if she chose. She could be in the front row and be a witness all her own.

In the stillness of the morning, Kerry could hear bits of her last conversation with Jamison. They were in the room at the Westin. It was an early morning just like this. The sun was new. They were climbing out of the same bed.

“Marry me,” he’d said.

“Marry you?” Kerry rubbed her eyes.

Jamison laughed. “Why do you keep answering me with questions?”

“Because I can’t believe what you’re asking,” she said. “This is crazy. Too fast.”

“Then I’ll ask it slowly. Would you marry me? That work for you now?”

“I—That’s not what I meant. I meant it’s happening too quickly for me.”

“Quickly? You know I love you. I never stopped.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Another question.” Jamison cupped her chin with his hand. “Do you love me?”

“I—”

“Don’t bullshit me. Don’t give me the ‘we’re divorced and I have to play from this side of the court’ response. Just tell me. Do you love me, Kerry?”

“Yes,” she said.

“So would you marry me?”

Kerry listened to the past and decided she didn’t want to hear her answer. She wanted to leave that in the past. To stop living in that past. She looked down at her wedding band. She slid it off.

Kerry looked back out of the window and saw that the sun was in full view. Just that fast, it had revealed itself to her. She considered that maybe she was the only one in the world invited to the show.

There were two soft knocks at the door. Kerry slid her old wedding band onto the nightstand beside the window, replaced the sheet over Tyrian’s body, and went to open the door.

Val was standing there, holding her bags.

“Hey there,” she whispered after seeing Tyrian still in the bed and Kerry in her night clothes. “The car is here to take us to the airport.”

“Oh.” Kerry sounded like she’d forgotten.

“You okay?” Val asked. She could see the wedding band on the nightstand. “You want me to help you pack? I can have Ernest tell the car to wait. It’s still early.”