Coreen looked at me cross, but I didn’t care anymore about fighting with her. I just wanted to get to the hospital and I needed my husband.
“I’m taking Kerry to the hospital,” she said, opening the phone. “It’s me . . . Coreen.” She paused. I imagined Jamison was wondering how we’d ended up together.
“Just tell him I’m having the baby,” I cried.
“He wants to speak to you,” she said, handing me the phone.
“Kerry, are you okay?” Jamison asked with deep worry in voice.
“No,” I said. “I’m having the baby. Meet me at the hospital.”
“How did you end up with Coreen?” he asked. “Did she come to the house?”
“No,” I said. “Just meet me at the hospital.”
“It’s over between us,” Coreen said breaking the silence shortly after I hung up the phone. We turned onto the main road where the hospital was. “It’s been over.”
I really wanted to hear what she was saying, but inside I was still hurt to know that there was something.
“I’m sorry for what I’ve done to you . . . to your family.” She started crying.
“Please,” I said. “You’re just sorry you got caught.”
“It wasn’t like that,” she said. “It wasn’t even my idea to meet him. . . . The whole thing was just . . .” She turned into the emergency room driveway. “Look, I can’t tell you all of it. I swore . . . I swore I’d just—”
“Uggggggghhhh,” I screamed as what felt like a jab thrust into my stomach.
“I’ve got to get you inside,” Coreen said. She got out of t
he car and ran into the hospital. She came out with a nurse and a wheelchair.
“She’s going to take care of you,” Coreen said.
“How far apart are your contractions?” the nurse asked as I slid into the chair.
“I don’t know. They’re coming now though.”
“Are you going in with her?” she said to Coreen.
“No,” we both said.
“Well, you’ll have to wait outside,” she said, stopping in front of the emergency room doors.
“Okay,” Coreen said. “Kerry, I’ll just leave the car here for Jamison and I’ll take a cab home.”
I didn’t say anything. That part of my journey was over. I wasn’t thankful. I wasn’t sorry. I just wanted her to go.
Rose Petals
I was mad. I know they say “only dogs get mad,” but that day, there was no other way to describe my feelings than mad. One of Jamison’s mentors invited us to the annual mayor’s ball and I couldn’t have been more excited. I’d been before, so it wasn’t a huge deal, but after taking the MCAT for the second time and being completely stressed with the next batch of med school applications, I was happy to get out for a night and mix with good company. I’d spent the day at the spa with my mother and picked out the most beautiful Cavalli buttercup cocktail dress I’d ever seen. I certainly couldn’t afford it on my budget, but I needed that dress. I wanted to show everyone that I was okay, that Jamison and I were doing fine. There was so much discussion going on. People wondered why neither of us had left Atlanta after graduation. And as they always did when there was no news, they simply made things up. According to Marcy, some gossips said Jamison had gotten me pregnant and moved into my mother’s house. He was spending all of our money and forbade me from going to med school. It was ridiculous and I had to show them that it couldn’t have been farther from the truth. Everyone who mattered would be at the ball. They’d see me in my Cavalli and with Jamison at my side and know that we were happy and clearly on our way up.
I was supposed to meet Jamison at his apartment at 7:00 PM, but when I got there, he was nowhere to be found. I could hear music playing inside, but his car wasn’t outside and he wasn’t answering the door. Now, it was 1996 and neither of us had cell phones, so all I could do was sit in my car and wait for him to show up or go home. I grew more and more angry with each minute that passed. Jamison hated these kinds of events, the kinds of people who would be there. I knew that. He didn’t want to go and he was probably somewhere just sitting around eating a hot dog with his mother or something. I didn’t understand why he couldn’t just sacrifice his feelings for me for three hours. Yes, he hated these people, but these were my people and I needed to be there, we needed to be there together. If he was ever going to be successful he’d have to make partners with the people I knew.
By the time the mayor’s ball was supposed to start, I was completely mad. Dog mad. Burn-down-a-house mad. Get-arrested mad.
Furious, I was about to leave, but then I decided to go and knock on his door one more time. Maybe he’d fallen down. Maybe he’d hit his head. Either way, when I got to him, I’d kill him. I got out of the car and walked to his door and knocked and knocked, but still, I could hear music, but there was no answer. This only made me more mad, and when I decided to walk back to the car I was so mad that I’d decided to break up with Jamison. If he couldn’t understand, sacrifice for me, we couldn’t be together. I’d sacrificed so much for him, and he couldn’t even come to a party? He couldn’t even tell me? He just stood me up? This was a first, and I was sure it was going to be a last.
When I walked out of the gate, I turned to my car and saw that it was covered with some little round things. As I got closer, I realized that they were purple flower petals. Rose petals. They were everywhere—on the roof, the windows, the hood.