What He's Been Missing

“Ian, I’m—” I tried.

“You love me, too!” he shouted. He wrapped me in a passionate embrace. And then lowered his arms to my waist. “You love me, too. I love you.” He started kissing me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck. I closed my eyes.

He lowered his arms again and wrapped them under my butt. He picked me up and sat me on the desk. Parted my legs and pushed his body between them.

It was hard for me to sit upright and not fall back onto the desk. He was moving so quickly.

“I love you, Rachel,” he said into my ear. “I want this. I want you.”

It was hard for me to breathe. To know what was happening. To realize what was happening. I wanted everything. But what? I always knew what I wanted. I always knew. But what now?

Ian started moving his hands up underneath my skirt from the hem.

Was this what I wanted? I let myself melt. Eased my legs in a little so he could get a good hold of my thigh.

“I love you,” he said again, but this time I swear it sounded like Xavier in my ear.

Something shot up my back and around my neck like a whip.

My office door slammed open. I turned, thinking I’d been caught by Krista, but she wasn’t there. It was Scarlet rushing in fast with Xavier behind her.

“See! See! See!” She pointed at Ian pushing away from me. “I told you something was up. I knew something was going on between these two. Ian, what the fuck?”

“Scarlet, I can explain,” Ian said. He held his hands up like Scarlet had a gun.

Xavier pushed Scarlet to the side and was on his way to Ian. I jumped in between them.

“Stop it! Just stop,” I said, but Xavier didn’t look at me. He pushed me to the side and, without saying a word, cracked Ian right in the face. I hadn’t ever been that close to someone who’d been hit that hard. Blood shot out of Ian’s mouth before he hit the floor.

Xavier stood over him with his hands balled. “Get up, bitchass nigga. Get the fuck up, so I can whip your ass! Fucking fake-ass nigga. Get the fuck up!”

Ian was disoriented, but looking around.

Xavier was about to punch him again, but I grabbed his arms.

“No,” I said. “Not here.”

Scarlet was crying and shaking so badly. She pulled her ring off and threw it at Ian.

“Scarlet!” Ian cried, struggling to get up.

Xavier tried to get at him again, but I held his arms.

“I can’t believe you did this to me,” Scarlet cried. She ran out of the office.

Ian stumbled to his feet and looked at me. “I have to go,” he said. He ran out of the office behind Scarlet, leaving the ring and a red stain on the floor.

“Look what you did,” I said to Xavier.

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t handle seeing him—”

“You’re sorry? You’re sorry? Did you just have the nerve to say you’re sorry? Sorry about what? About lying to me? About coming into my fucking office and turning it into a street corner? About spying on me in New Orleans?” I said. “Fuck you, Xavier. You can’t say shit to me. You don’t have shit to say to me. You hear me?”

“I wasn’t spying on you,” Xavier said.

“Then what were you doing? Hum? Tell me. Tell me what you were doing following me. You want to say something? Tell me what you have to say about that. About following me and claiming that you’re someone that you’re not. About lying to me all this time just because you knew what I was looking for. Just because you knew I wanted to be in love.”